Lost Half of Me

Our Cruise was beyond Words!

2009-09-24T12:31:00.002-05:00

The cruise was absolutely amazing! I had planned and researched and dreamed of how the cruise would be for months…and it was everything I’d hoped for and so much more! We left that Thursday around 4pm and drove to Gainesville and spent the night. Had planned to stay in Lake City but decided to go a little farther and make the drive time the next morning even less. Drove to Kennedy Space Center the next morning and spent about 5 or 6 hours there. It was a great day and we learned so much. The add-on special tour we bought was great and we got to go to the launch pads and things so the kids took a lot away from the experience. I don’t really have much interest in the space program, but I even enjoyed the day. We checked into our hotel after that, did a little running around, and spent the afternoon/evening chilling out and relaxing by the pool. Jess also got to work more on her homework. Saturday we boarded the shuttle at noon for the ½ mile ride to the Carnival Glory. We’d already driven down earlier and seen the ship while we were out for breakfast. =D Embarkation process went quite smoothly and we were on the ship in about 30 minutes or so. Headed up to the Lido deck for some lunch and then spent some time walking around the ship and checking things out. The Disney Magic was next to our ship in port so we got some neat views of it as well. Not as big as our ship but still impressive. Around 1:30 we finally got to head to our stateroom and while small, it was quite cozy and well laid out. We headed up to the Lido deck for the sail away party, went to the meet-and-greet for Circle C (the kids activity group), then went to our first dinner at 6pm. Our wait staff was amazing and the food was delicious! The Circle C activities started around 8pm and we didn’t see the girls until around 1am when Circle C ended for the evening. Gary and I went to the show that evening which was fun. Sunday was our first Day at Sea. Gary and I were up early and went up on deck to take a walk and enjoy the sights. We saw the kids off and on during the day but they were busy with Circle C and new friends. That evening was our first Elegant Dinner so we got all dressed up and had pictures made before we ate. It was shrimp and lobster night and it was delicious! Monday was our day in Cozumel and we had a blast. We did the Twister boat ride to Passion Island. Twister is a high speed boat that does fast turns and twists and 360’s in the water. You get soaked but it was a blast. Once we got to the Island we had a wonderful meal and then spent the day playing in the water, jumping off the water trampoline, kayaking, paddle boats, etc. Went back to the ship, cleaned up, and headed into Cozumel for some shopping. Tuesday we were in Belize. Went snorkeling at Goff’s Caye and had an amazing time and learned so much at the same time! We were snorkeling the 2nd largest coral reef in the world so that was a pretty awesome experience! Back to the ship to clean up and then grabbed a tender to Belize City for shopping. Also hate lunch at a restaurant called Mamasita’s. The food was tasty but a little more bland than I expected. Wednesday we were in Costa Maya where we did a Mayan Culture Experience tour. We rode a bus to Limones where we went to a Mayan ruin, spent some time touring the area, and then went to the home of a Mayan couple. There we had a traditional Mayan lunch prepared by them and learned a lot of things about their lifestyles. Again, we learned so much and the food was absolutely amazing! When we got back to the port city of Mahamaul we did some shopping before going back to the ship. The girls had a blast with the “game” of bartering for the things they wanted. Thursday was another sea day so we had time to relax a bit. It was also another elegant evening as well as our 16th anniversary. Gary had set it up with the room steward for our nightly towel animal to be a monkey which was a nice surprise. He also bought me a sapphire necklace/bracelet/earring set for our anniversary and it is beautiful. I wore them to dinner that night and loved them! Friday was our day in Nassau and the weather was quite nasty when we arrived. Thankfully it rained and thundered for about 30 minutes and then cleared up. We spent the day at Blackbeard’s Caye swimming/snorkeling/feeding/petting the stingrays and had a great time. What an experience! Afterwards we did a little shopping and then headed back to the ship. We decided to skip dinner in the dining room and instead ate the buffet. Saturday came and it was time for debarkation. Went smoothly again and we were off the ship by 9:30 and on our way home by 10am. Got to the house around 5pm that afternoon. I was afraid the week would fly by but was surprised that it didn’t. I think it was probably the best vacation we’ve ever had and definitely a 2nd honeymoon to remember! Now we’re already in the planning stages of a cruise next August and Gary said he’d liked to find a 3 day to do before that. We’re hooked now! Lol The kids program is excellent on Carnival! The girls stayed busy with dance parties, movie nights, scavenger hunts, sports activites, game parties, pizza making things, ice cream eating contests, etc. The Circle C activities went until 12:30 or 1am every night! Gary and I had time with them, but also had plenty of time alone as well. Definitely recommend!! Now the countdown has begun to Cruise #2 already being planned for next summer!

My younger daughter will her dress

2009-07-14T07:13:00.002-05:00

This is the black dress my younger daughter (turns 12 on Thursday) picked out for the cruise. It comes to about mid-thigh I guess and looks adorable on her. She also loves the red one my older daughter picked and has visions of one day wearing it too.

My oldest in her first formal wear....

2009-07-13T14:23:00.004-05:00

My oldest daughter picked this black formal for our cruise in September and we caught it half off at the mall after prom season and got it for just $85.

While it isn't my style by any means, I must admit it looks beautiful on her!

Of course, then a few weeks later when we were at our local Ross store at the mall, she found another one she loved (the red one). I reminded her that she already had her formal dress for the cruise (she'll be wearing another dress she already had for the 2nd formal night). She quickly said "but this one is ONLY $25 and I'll wear it to some of the formal dances in high school and you won't have to buy one for a lot more". This reasoning actually made me stop in my tracks and agree to go ahead and let her have the 2nd dress too. I also reasoned that my younger daughter likes it too and MAYBE, just MAYBE she'll want to wear it too. Plus I knew that I'd never get another deal like that and if for nothing else than future cruises, it would be worth the cost. Boy,,,they grow up so fast....

Its June and its HOT...but I'm still surviving...

2009-06-22T14:19:00.001-05:00

It’s been awhile since my last post, but life has continued on much the same. I did write out a long post last week, but as soon as I hit "post", it disappeared into cyber space never to be seen or heard from again. I’ve been staying busy with work and enjoying the kids being out of school...as when THEY have no school it means mom has no school (i.e. no homework to check, no projects to assist with, etc.)! They are like babies with their days and nights mixed up...they stay up most (if not all) night watching tv and playing games, then sleep half the next day while dad and I are at work. Lazy bums! Lol We went camping over the weekend and had a blast. Now mind you, we live in Northwest Florida and the temps are already averaging in the high 90s every day with heat index pushing 110+! Two years ago the idea of me camping, in a TENT, in the middle of JUNE...well, I’d have thought you were nuts! And here I am now not only doing it, but having a blast! What wonderful memories we are creating with our children. I have such fond memories of camping at the beach when I was young, and its nice that my girls will have similar memories. My parents and brother’s family joined us so it was a lot of fun. I have noticed that once again I have gotten lax about my eating and notice I snack a lot more than I should. Today was my day to get back on track and cut all that crap out...yet another reminder of why the scale is my friend as when I saw that number this morning it was my reality check. Just the thing I need every once in awhile. Within a week or so I’ll be back to where I want to be so I’m not too upset. Paid the final cruise payment yesterday and we are down to 75 days until the cruise now! I cannot wait! I already have my formal dresses and the girls now have theirs as well. As promised I’ll be posting pics soon of us in them...I just keep forgetting. Hope you all are continuing to make progress on your own journey!

Still Maintaining...

2009-05-18T12:47:00.003-05:00

It's been quite awhile since my last post, but all continues to go well. Had a scare last month with the work situation, as our company had layoffs. Thankfully they said seniority would NOT be considered, rather it was work quality and how much we do....they followed thru and I kept my job while someone with 18+ years did not. (I only have 8.5 years) I hate it for anyone who loses their job, but THANK GOD it wasn't me!!! For the most part I continue to maintain my 137/138 weight which I'm quite happy with. A couple of weeks ago I did stray from my normal routine and ate WAY more than I should at several family functions. I paid for it on the scale when I saw 144.6 for the first time in over a year. This was my mini-reality check and I quickly got back to basics and was back down to 138 within a week. This was again proof to me that the scale really is my friend, even if I don't always like the number. It helps me realize when enough it enough and I need to get more firmly focused back on staying away from too many snacks. The kids are keeping us busy with end of the year school activities and only have about 2-1/2 weeks left until summer vacation. No big plans, they are just looking forward to relaxing and spending a lot of time at the beach. We took them last night to find new swimsuits for the cruise, and they both have their eyes on a new formal at the mall for one of the cruise dinner nights. Told them we may go back in a few weeks and let them try them on and pick one out (after Prom season when they go on sale). Thats about it for us...hope you all continue to trudge along well on your own weight loss journey.

I'm Going Cruising!!!

2009-03-30T11:50:00.003-05:00

Yep,,,,I booked our anniversary cruise on Carnival Glory for September and the countdown has begun. I am so very excited! 7 days on a beautiful ship with hubby and our girls with port visits to Nassau, Belize, Cozumel, and Costa Maya. I suspect the next 5 months will drag at a snail's pace! lol While I dread all the amazing foods the ships are known to have, I certainly will allow myself to indulge within reason. Hubby and I have made a vow to make use of the ship gym every day and also to do plenty of walking, both on the ship and in the ports. I told him that since I have been easily maintaining 136/137 for the past few months, I think I'd like to work hard to get back down to at least 130 if not lower before the cruise. I don't necessarily want to "maintain" that weight as I am happy with where I'm at, BUT I figure if I do it then I'll feel more comfy with the cruise splurges. lol In the coming months I"ll be on the lookout for a sexy little evening dress for one of the formal nights as I already have one for the second night. Have any of you been on a cruise...if so, please share your thoughts...what you liked, didn't like, things we "must do/see".

One of Many Reasons Americans are Overweight....

2009-03-25T12:16:00.002-05:00

The Class A West Michigan Whitecaps have come up with possibly the most unhealthy ballpark food item in baseball history: the Fifth Third Burger.Named after the bank that sponsors the team, the Fifth Third features 26.7 ounces (five-thirds pounds) of beef, lettuce, tomato, salsa, sour cream, chili and Fritos on an 8-inch sesame seed bun. Total calories: 4,889.The burger costs $20, but the team points out it feeds one to four. A single fan who finishes the burger in one sitting will receive a Fifth Third Burger T-shirt.Mickey Graham, the team's director of marketing, told CNBC he thinks some fans will show up just for the feeding: "We've had people come just for dinner. We take our food pretty seriously."

Its simply unreal to me how I'm sure many people will be tempted to try to scarf down this burger to win a darn t-shirt...or simply because it sounds good to them. Never mind the 5000 calories they'll be consuming! At a time when you can look around our country and see so many overweight people, it annoys me to see businesses coming up with this sort of thing. Heck, even if four people split it, they'd each be consuming nearly 1250 calories.

Spring

2009-03-23T12:01:00.002-05:00

The weather has finally been beautiful and it has been wonderful getting out and enjoying it. I met my friend to walk 5 miles yesterday and will be meeting the family after work to do another 5 miles. I can honestly say that I love to walk! Wish I could say I love the gym, but I've come to the conclusion that will never happen. Since my mother reached her own weight loss goal she has started eating more. She has been shocked to find that she continued to lose weight, although I wasn't. I kept telling her she needed to be eating more than she was, but she simply wouldn't listen. So even though she was eating MORE, she actually has been weighing around 143 or so, some days even 141.5. I noticed the same thing when I was trying to lose the last few pounds. I finally figured I was going to go ahead and increase my calories to stop losing and shock, I lost another 3 pounds which put me at 124/125. Since I have been maintaining, as I posted before I found this weight was harder to maintain and I still had to watch my calories quite closely. Not something I really wanted to do for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, I always weigh daily and watch my calories accordingly, but I want to be able to eat the pastas and things, just in moderation. By setting my maintenance a little higher, I found that I could eat the things I wanted (in moderation) and easily maintain. Mom is finding this same thing. She was a bit frustrated this morning because she was at 146 even though she ate less yesterday than she did the days before. I told her not to worry about it and since she is up a bit, watch the calories a little closer this week. Getting used to maintaining as opposed to losing is different, but something she'll grow accustomed to just as I did,,,just as you all will when you reach your own goals.

Rainy Days

2009-03-16T12:24:00.002-05:00

While we needed some rain, I hated that it pretty much rained all weekend. I'd had plans to go to the local trail and do a 5 mile walk on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday and wasn't able to do any of them. Have plans to do it this afternoon too, but it isn't looking good at the moment. The weekend was a busy one but at least there was a little down time too. Friday I spent 2 hours at the doctor's office with my oldest daughter and then at the hospital waiting for an x-ray on her wrist. Earlier in the week she took a spill when the rope on the tire swing broke and her wrist wasn't getting any better. Figured better safe than sorry. Thankfully they called later that day to say the x-rays were normal. Took her back to school and set up with the office that she was to ride the bus home with a friend for a sleepover. She called me after school to say the office never delivered the note so she couldn't get on the other bus. Came home and mom got to get out again to take her to the sleepover. Saturday had to pick her up and go to the local Arts Festival where her chorus group was singing (thankfully the rain held off for awhile). Afterwards she asked to stay for awhile and hang out with her friends and they would bring her home. Got home and sat down, she called to ask me to come get her because it was raining and they weren't going to bring her home after all. Ugh! Back to the festival and back home in time for her other friend to arrive to stay the night. Worked on school projects yesterday as both girls had them. This was an experience....I'd be helping one at the computer and the other was yelling from the dining room that she needed help. After numerous times like that I had a mini-mommy-meltdown and reminded them that I am only one person and cannot possibly be in two places at once and to please have patience. Both projects did get finished thankfully! lol Dieting went well over the weekend and I have been holding pretty at 135 or a little less for the last week which I'm thrilled about. My mom has now officially reached her goal as well at around 142/144 so I am so very happy for her! Go mom!

Spring and Longer Days....

2009-03-09T12:09:00.002-05:00

What a wonderful title! I am so excited about warmer weather and longer days! I notice in the winter months that I don't walk nearly as much as I do when the days are longer and I am looking forward to hitting the local trail a lot more often now that I have more daylight hours. The warmer weather also means I can soon start fiddling around in my flower beds more which will give added exercise. The best part is that I feel pretty much back to normal except for a little sinus stuff thats hanging around. My poor parents are STILL sick and its been about a month for them! I feel so sorry for them and hope they are better soon. The weight maintenance continues to go well and I am just happy as can be. My body has settled into a 136/137 zone which is a little higher than I ideally wanted, but this seems to work and seems pretty easy for me to happily maintain. I have found it easy to stay at that weight in spite of weekly after church visits to Baskin Robbins with my family or nightly popcorn snacks while watching tv with my sweet hubby or even on nights of too much pizza or onion rings (it was good though lol). I "liked" being at 130 but I had to work much harder and be alot more strict to stay there. Once I start walking more I am curious to see if I can continue to eat this way and slowly crawl back toward 130, but if not, I could quite easily and quite happily live the rest of my life maintaining at this weight knowing that I don't have to say no when I want pasta or cookies with the kids. I have a really good friend that is trying to lose weight now and finding it difficult to find the will power to get a good start. I told her that being really strict with yourself at the beginning was what helped me out, knowing that in the end, I'd be able to relax and enjoy things more later. I hope she starts to see lower scale numbers soon.

And...Still Sick

2009-03-05T12:07:00.003-06:00

Actually, my first bout with this crap only lasted 4 days or so and then I thought it was behind me. Then hubby got sick. And now I'm sick again! Ugh! Yesterday I felt like a truck ran over my head but managed to work all day in spite of it. Went straight home afterwards and climbed into bed for the rest of the night. Hubby brought me supper in bed and I went back to sleep after eating. I feel a little better today and he says I look better (though considering how bad I looked yesterday it didn't take much to be an improvement lol). My poor parents are still fighting it all as they have been without a break for the last 3 weeks! I can't imagine feeling like this for that long. Unfortunately since we have all been sick, I still haven't been back to the gym! In 3 weeks! Gasp! The only exercise I have done in 3 weeks is one 5 mile walk. I am so ready for Spring weather, longer days (which reminds me...don't forget to set clocks ahead this weekend), and more time to be outside in the fresh air. Provided that I continue to feel better I'll be walking this weekend and back to the gym next week. I have to applaud people who are committed to working out even when they are sick. I'm not one of them. I just want to sleep. On a different note, hubby made homemade beer battered onion rings last night with supper. Yep, they were horribly bad for me, but they were quite tasty. More please. lol I managed to not go back for seconds so it was still a successful meal.

Sick and Tired

2009-02-26T12:39:00.002-06:00

No...really. I'm sick and tired! =D When we returned from Parris Island I was having back issues as a result of the hotel bed from hell which lasted about a week. The very day my back felt better I came down with the sickness crud that was plaguing the rest of my extended family. Between those two things I haven't graced the inside of either of my gyms in almost 2 weeks, though I did walk 5 miles last weekend before going straight back home and falling into bed for the rest of the weekend. The gym is on my "To Do" list for tomorrow but who knows if it will really and truly happen. Just being honest! While I do feel better today I also am simply exhausted. No big weekend plans so at this point my "plan" is to veg out, continue taking my meds, watch lots of sappy Lifetime movies, and throw in a little housework here and there since hubby has graciously done most everything during the last two week hurt/sick period. Lately I have been noticing that my body has kind of seemed to settled around the 137 area. I'm happy with that though prefer to be around 130ish. Now that the days are starting to get longer and I should be able to start walking more maybe I'll see that number again soon. If not, as long as I'm in the 130s then I'm okay with that. Lifestyle is good....I eat pretty healthy most of the time but do eat bad here and there, indulge in desserts in moderation, and I'm still maintaining. I think thats what its all about in the end.

Busy but Nice Weekend

2009-02-16T10:55:00.004-06:00

The last week has been busy but enjoyable all around. Last week was my nephew's Marine boot camp graduation at Parris Island, SC. The day before we were to leave, my hubby called me at work to say his work had cancelled his vacation and he wouldn't be able to join us on the trip to SC. I was mad!!! The idea of cancelling it was bad enough, but to wait until the day before! Just made me want to beat someone! lol The girls and I instead joined my parents for the 7 hour drive. We arrived at 1am on Thu. morning and got very little sleep before getting up and heading to the base for Family Day. My "very little sleep" was probably only 30 minutes or so because my daughter had a horrible cough that no meds were quieting! Ugh! Nothing worse than being exhausted and confined to a hotel room with a coughing child who's had all the meds you can give her and they still aren't working. Well, actually, there really is "worse" but at the time it sure didn't feel like it. Family Day was wonderful. My nephew looked awesome!

We spent the whole day with him on base having lunch, shopping for all sorts of "my nephew/son/grandson/brother/cousin is a Marine" shirts at the Exchange, visiting the museum, checking out his barracks, and just enjoying finally being able to see him after 3 months apart. The hours passed liked minutes and before long it was time to say goodbye for the day, but not before we took more pics!

The next morning we were back at Parris Island bright and early for his official graduation! He had done awesome and was the high shooter for his platoon. They asked him if he wanted to go to sniper school but he turned down the offer. His heart is into working on vehicles and he didn't want to do something else. After the ceremony and a quick lunch, we headed back home. Long drive but I was so glad to be back with my hubby that night. We had a wonderful Valentines Day where he spoiled me as always, and a nice cookout for my nephew yesterday. I pretty much ate what I wanted to during the last week and the scales have reflected that, but thats okay. I know what to do now so its back to the grind! Hope each of you had a wonderful weekend too.

Michael I love you dearly and I am soooooo very proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Light Bulb Moment

2009-02-03T08:19:00.002-06:00

A couple of months ago while blogging about having a day or two where I'd been constantly hungry and ready to eat anything in sight, I wondered if it might possibly have something to do with TOM. I had planned to notice the following month to see if there was a pattern I'd just never paid attention to before. Well, the following month when my visitor came, I was on vacation and pretty much not eating all that great anyway. No answer. Well, yesterday I was again having one of those days. I did pretty good all day (except for a piece of Bavarian Creme King Cake my co-worker brought back from her Louisiana trip over the weekend...BAD BAD Co-Worker!! lol), ate a nice healthy supper hubby had lovingly prepared. And then disaster struck. It started with the Dove chocolate bar he brought me from the store. Not bad in itself, 200 calories, so definitely do-able. But then, I was still hungry and had some Honey BBQ chicken bites, a granola bar, a peanut butter sandwich, and a few chips among other odds and ends. Finally he walked past me, saw me with the chips, said "NO WAY" and took them bye-bye. As he did it he said I'm doing what you told me to do. GO GARY!! With that little slap on the hand, my food-fest was over. Thank God! Too bad I didn't go get him earlier. lol Oh well, the damage was done, I felt pretty miserable, time to move on. All this is to say, this morning, TOM came and wah-lah...I have my answer. I now fully realize that these urges to eat, eat, eat are occuring during this time period. Next month I am going to try to not only recognize it for what it is (hormones and all that crap), but try to STOP it in its tracks. Eating just because of THAT is certainly NO real reason to eat. No clue how but the scales were not as merciless as I expected this morning. Today is a new day and I am back on target...I also got to start my new work hours today so I'll be getting off at 4:30 rather than 6pm each day. This will give me time to go home and walk like I used to which I'm really excited about!

Good Day

2009-01-29T15:02:00.002-06:00

While I didn't go to the gym yesterday or do the Wii Fit, it was still a great day food-wise. I plan to go to the gym in the morning on my way to get groceries so while it isn't the 4 times each week I'd planed, it will be 3 and that is acceptable since this week I had to attend a seminar that prevented my going during lunch today. I've got to strive to be better on the Wii Fit next week as it's Thursday and I didn't get on it a single time so far this week. Maybe I'll try that tomorrow night at least. I will definitely meet my walking goal on Saturday when I meet a friend to go on the local Trail. Next week my work hours are going to change and I'll get off at 4:30 each day rather than 6pm. Wonderful news! This will mean I get home so much earlier and have time to start walking every day again! My last goal was to limit myself to only 2 days of dessert or junk in general during the week, and so far, my only day for that was last Sunday when I had a small ice cream cone with fat free ice cream. The scales showed 134.4 this morning so I am now back inside my weight maintenance range and thrilled about it. 130 is getting a little closer every day! I also had my yearly work review this morning and it was wonderful, so definitely something to be proud of on that front. Hope you had a good day too!

Goal Update

2009-01-28T07:05:00.002-06:00

In short, my goals are:
1. Work out at Curves at least twice a week SO FAR ONCE THIS WEEK
2. Work out at Riviera at least twice a week SO FAR ONCE THIS WEEK
3. Walk at least 5 miles each week SO FAR 3 MILES
4. Work out on Wii Fit at least three times each week NONE
5. Limit myself to having desserts/evening snacks twice a week and then IN MODERATION!!
ONCE ON SUNDAY

The scale actually said 135.6 this morning which is up a little but I'm not concerned. I ate wonderfully yesterday and even had baby carrots instead of chips and dip as everyone else had with supper. No complaints just continuing on the course!

So far, so good & A Kick in the Butt too

2009-01-27T13:09:00.003-06:00

Yesterday's meals were 100% on target. No bad food of any kind. Today the scale was down to 135.4 so "technically" I am 135 and back in my "range" I'd set for maintenance. However, that certainly isn't to say I can slack off. Nope, I want to be back around 130...the middle of my range. Enough of the splurging and enjoying too many of the things that SHOULD have been the occasional treat. I also know I need to focus my attention back to exercise which I can often be bad about not doing. Last year, until the days got shorter, I was walking ALOT (80 to 120 miles each month) on top of going to the gym at least 3 times a week. When the time changed that commitment also changed. I started out by continuing to walk on weekends and pretty soon, I wasn't doing it at all. I also wasn't being as faithful about the gym as I should have been. But I have recommitted to being better about my exercise! I am going back to Curves (my insurance started paying for it again) twice a week with my mother and I am also planning to go to my other gym (the one I actually pay for) twice a week. On top of that, yesterday I made plans with a friend to start meeting to walk every Saturday morning at 7:30am. Hubby and I had started doing the Wii Fit every night at home as well, but unfortunately that can be time consuming when I don't get off work until 6pm. I think a better plan would be to shoot for doing it at least 3 times a week as well. This is definitely do-able and is something I am going to push myself to complete. If I get more, great. If I don't do 3 times, I'll ask one of my kids for a swift kick in the butt. I am also going back to being more strict with myself. While I am at goal and CAN be more flexible and enjoy the sweets in moderation, I want to make a goal to limit myself to only a couple of days each week where I will partake of such things. With all of these things working together, I should find myself back at 130 in no time if I stay the course....
In short, my goals are:
1. Work out at Curves at least twice a week
2. Work out at Riviera at least twice a week
3. Walk at least 5 miles each week
4. Work out on Wii Fit at least three times each week
5. Limit myself to having desserts/evening snacks twice a week and then IN MODERATION!!

I plan to post every day to track my progress on meeting those goals so I can hold myself accountable. Just because I am in the weight maintenance part of my journey I don't want to get too lax and forget that my body STILL needs the exercise that got me here! Have you set any goals for yourself lately?

Trip, Weight, and Swimsuits

2009-01-26T07:37:00.004-06:00

Our weekend trip to Panama City Beach was wonderful as it always is. The weather was reasonably nice considering it's January, and we had a lot of fun in the indoor pool area. Most of our meals were cooked in the room so I did great on that aspect. We took popcorn and fruit with us so most of my snacks consisted of those items. I did enjoy some chips and a candy bar, but I made sure to go for a long walk/run on the beach to work some of it off. The end result...the scale this morning said 135.6 so I am down 0.4 lbs from Thursday morning! I had a big smile when I saw that number. lol The biggest shock of the trip however occurred BEFORE we left. On Friday while the kiddies were in school and hubby was working, I did some errands. One of those errands was to find a new swimsuit as my old one was way too big and the family kept telling me it looked really bad. I found my usual one piece at the store to try on, and just for grins, grabbed a 2 piece as well. Figured I'd be able to tell my husband that at least I tried one on and it simply wasn't happening. lol I put the one piece on and liked it a lot. Then came the moment of truth...the first time I'd put on a 2 piece in YEARS! Well....I liked it!! Holy Cow! I even smiled at my reflection in the mirror! This prompted me to try on another one. I liked it too!!! I was just short of jumping up and down in the dressing room. Me...the woman who swore she'd never be back into a 2 piece suit...was wearing one and liking it. I couldn't decide on which I liked better so I bought both! Couldn't shake the stupid grin off my face the rest of the day. And let's just say, hubby was really appreciative too! lol It was such a feeling of freedom to walk around the resort in those new swimsuits feeling perfectly comfortable. It's a feeling I didn't expect to have when I started this journey, so it's something that shocked me. I know I've lost a lot of weight and in clothes, I've thought I looked good. But as most of you know, the skin doesn't always firm up as much as we'd like after having been so stretched out for years. THIS alone is the main reason I never expected I'd be able to wear a 2 piece suit. Now I attained another goal I'd wanted but never thought I'd reach, and again, the feeling I have gotten just strengthened my resolve to make sure I never again gain weight! I hope you all feel the same way as you continue to meet your own goals!

So far, so good

2009-01-22T12:11:00.002-06:00

While I did post about "getting back to the grind" on Monday, and I did eat well all day...I had the munchies that night and had popcorn and the last piece of red velvet cake. Yum! No more tempting sweets in the house so that's a plus and no desire to buy more anytime soon. The last two days had been 100% on target with my eating, and while I haven't gone to the gym since Monday, that's okay too. The scale this morning showed 136.0 so I am just one little pound away from being back within the maintenance area I set for myself...barely in it, but that's acceptable anyway. Eating has gone well today, and while we will be having dinner out tonight to celebrate my mother's birthday, I plan to make my usual healthy choice at the restaurant. My dad is also bringing a cake for us to have after dinner, and I am only going to eat a couple of bites...not even an entire piece. If I hadn't been having sweet issues lately I'd have my normal size piece and enjoy it guilt-free, but for now, a couple of bites is all I'll have. Tomorrow after picking the kids up from school, we're going to head over to spend a weekend getaway at a resort we enjoy at Panama City Beach. All of the rooms have kitchens so the plan is to take healthy food choices with us and to cook/eat in the room. That way we can enjoy the trip but not over-indulge. Hopefully with all the swimming and walking on the beach I'll even come back weighing less which is always a treat after being away from home for a few days. I also made our hotel reservations for next month for our trip to South Carolina. My nephew is graduating from Marine Corps boot camp at Parris Island and I simply cannot wait to see him!! I know the 10 days leave he will have after boot camp will pass much too quickly but I plan to enjoy it and am counting down the days! Good luck with your continued healthy food choices...and remember, stay focused on the end!

Back to the Grind

2009-01-19T16:06:00.002-06:00

I have noticed in the last month that I have gotten much more lax about my eating and have been allowing myself WAY more junk food than I need. Thankfully I haven't had any of the days where I just want to eat anything that gets in my way, but my routine has changed and I need to make the necessary modifications to continue my weight maintenance. My routine changed because we were on vacation the last week of December/first part of January and then returned home to my husband going back to day shift after having spent the last 3 years on the 3 to 11 shift. Don't get me wrong, I am LOVING having him home in the evenings and being able to eat as a family and cuddle on the couch in front of the fire each night. BUT on the flip side, hubby is an awesome cook! When he was working nights, the kids and I generally ate dinner with my parents who are also dieting so my suppers would be pretty low calorie (meats, steamed veggies, etc.). But now that hubby is home to cook, he has been making fabulous suppers that have had me being tempted into "just a little more" seconds, something I haven't done in a very long time. This is okay every now and then, but not on a routine basis. One night he also made a delicious red velvet cake with cream cheese icing for dessert. Hold me back! lol Sweets are my weakness and something I have to constantly be careful with. We rented movies the other night and ran by the pharmacy to grab something and I was in the mood for M&M's. However, instead of being semi-good and getting the little pack, we got a 3 lb. monstrosity. Why??!! I sure as heck didn't need that many M&Ms sitting around the house calling my name, but we got it anyway. Big mistake! HUGE mistake! Ate way too many that night, some more the next day, and you know how it goes. lol Thankfully the kiddies have nearly wiped those babies out (of course daddy and I have done our part to help with the cleanup process...it is our parental duty you know), the cake is down to only 1 slice (which my daughter most likely finished off today while she was home from school), and I have vowed to clean up my act. My weight is still doing okay. I'm averaging 137 lately which is okay, but not within the "range" I really want to stay in. My own fault and that's fine. On a positive note, figure I'd doing pretty great metabolism wise if I have been splurging way too much and still have been mainting around 137. Anyway...it's time to get back to the grind, get back to limiting my portions to ONE ONE ONE, and stay away from the junk food except every now and then (every night does not constitute "every now and then"). I had a lot of motivation to continue on my path of weight maintenance over the weekend. I have finally signed up for Facebook at the urging of several good friends. I was pleasantly surprised how many of my former classmates are on it and have had a blast reconnecting with them and catching up with how they are all doing. You can post pictures of yourself, family, etc. so I postd some of mine. I got several messages from old classmates telling me how great I look and one went even farther to say it looks like I just stepped out of high school while every one else has aged! Boy this made my head swell just a tad! lol It made me think back on the years before I lost weight and how back then, I would not have even THOUGHT of posting my picture, and if I did, it would most certainly have been a head shot only, which still would have embarrassed me beyond belief. But now, well now I was actually proud to post my picture! That feeling along made me remember how so very worth it every good food choice and every day at the gym or walking really was. I will forever hold onto that feeling of pride and accomplishment that I was reminded about when my friend sent me her message. Hope you all are doing well and continuing to fight your battle! The end is SO WORTH THE HARD WORK!!!

Productive Weekend

2009-01-13T09:33:00.002-06:00

Hubby started his new schedule of being back on day shift last week and his off days are now Wed/Thu. This got me in the mindset of making the most of my being off and home alone on Fridays now. I got up at 6:30am and started my day of cleaning. Got the kiddies off to school and continued with my "to do" list. I literally spent about 13 hours that day cleaning the house and about 3 hours doing errands (groceries, donating clothes to the local nursing home, donating odds/ends to the Waterfront Mission, donating empty printer cartidges to the school, going to the bank). I didn't even stop to sit down and eat breakfast or lunch...I just made it and sat it on the counter and took a bite as I passed by the plate. lol Hubby took over making dinner while I continued to clean. Saturday I got up around 8:30am and started cleaning again. This went on all day except the time I took my oldest to/from the skating rink and to go out to dinner. I didn't stop until 11 that night. Sunday was more of the same until around 10pm. I'd pulled my back a bit on Sunday so I stayed home from work yesterday to relax. Didn't get up for the day until after noon and then I had lunch and did the remainder of my laundry. I am so proud when I look around at my immaculate house!! Ahhhh! It's been way too long since I took the time to really de-clutter and organize and it feels wonderful! With the hours and hours of cleaning I figured that more than made up for not exercising this weekend. Did you do anything that made you feel like you accomplished awesome things?

Family Response to the "New Me"....

2009-01-05T15:21:00.002-06:00

....Or I should say the "new us" as both hubby and I have both lost weight since they last saw us (me the 150 lbs or so and him about 75 pounds). Thank you Karyn for the reminder about including this on my blog. They weren't completely surprised as we had sent out photo Christmas cards a couple of weeks before Christmas but were still shocked to see us in person as the card photo was pretty closeup so no one had the "full effect" until we arrived. Gary's mom talked about how tiny I was and how proud they were of what I have accomplished. I wish they'd made a bigger deal out of what my dear husband has done too but I made sure to point it out when no one else did! Granted he isn't at his goal weight yet but he has worked hard and I am so proud of him and want others to recognize his success. His sister was amazed too but unfortunately I think that made her feel worse. I say this because she has a lot of health problems that have contributed to her gaining at least everything I lost, probably more. I will continue to pray for her that the drs. figure things out so she can start to lose some weight soon. Hubby's other brothers haven't seen either of us since several months before we started losing weight, other than the photo card. We had a dinner for them the day after we arrived and the first thing one of the girlfriends said to me was 'OH my gosh...I have to ask, did you do it on your own or have the surgery??" I was so proud to be able to say it was all done with diet and exercise! I saw her again the day before we headed home and she showed me her "before" pic...before being before she gained weight. And she was talking about starting a diet too. While I certainly hope and pray that no one sees my weight loss and thinks badly about themselves, I am thrilled if I can be a small part of someone's motivation to get healthier! I couldn't help but feel so proud to go to family functions while up north and be the smallest one in the room (other than the kids), or to easily sit down in my husband's lap when all the chairs in the room were taken. I think that is always going to be one of my favorite things about having lost weight!

Back to the "Real World"

2009-01-05T13:03:00.003-06:00

Vacation is over and I today was my first day back at work. It was sure rough getting out of bed this morning when the alarm went off (or truth be known, 5 minutes after the alarm went off when my dear husband lovingly dragged my lazy butt out of bed laughing the entire time). But thats okay, the "real world" isn't horribly bad and it was nice to get back to my own home. Our Christmas was wonderful as I hope was the same for each of you. Our day was very relaxing and enjoyable with all of our family. We left that evening heading north to Michigan and all was well until the last 60 miles when we hit ice...and ice in a HUGE way! At that point our speed began to average 10 to 15 mph IF we were lucky. Thank God for answered prayers and a hubby who grew up in that mess and remembers how to handle it. About 30 miles out we were caught behind a bad wreck that had us sitting for over half an hour. We gave up and tried alternate routes, the first of which was axed due to the interstate we were heading toward being closed. Back the other direction and ended up on a 2 lane road with horrible conditions but we were able to make it thru...instead of arriving at 830am as we expected, it was nearly 3pm. Then later that evening we got stuck 2 houses from the cottage we rented on Lake Michigan. Ugh! AND hubby and I both fell on the ice, I ended up with 2 nice bruises and we thought he broke his hand, thankfully he did not. Once hubby's family came to help out with the problem and get our car down to the cottage, I could breathe a little easier. Though I did tell him if the weather and roads did not get better, my butt was NOT leaving the cottage all week and if anyone wanted to visit us, they could come to us!! lol Thank God for more answered prayers in the way of rain all night which helped to clear the roads. The rest of the trip was great with much visiting but also lots of time spent with just Gary, me and the kiddies by the fire. AHHHH....relaxing! We headed home last Friday morning, stopped to spend 5 hours at a mall in Nashville and arrived home by midnight. Then bliss...two whole days to relax before going to work today. A perfect way to end a vacation!! I was a bit scared to get on the scale but I was pleasantly surprised that I was basically the same as when I left. How I"m not sure since I surely didn't worry too much about diets up north, but thats okay. Now I'm home and back to watching what I eat more closely. Also back to the gym during lunch today and though it was brutal and I wanted to quit early, I trudged forward and finished the entire workout. Tonight hubby and I will be continuing the routine we have started of spending some time on the Wii Fit the kiddies got for Christmas. I hope that each of you made some special memories this Christmas and were able to enjoy the holidays in moderation!

Santa Claus is Coming to Town....

2008-12-22T15:52:00.004-06:00

Can you believe its almost that time for the jolly man to ride into town on his trusted sleigh pulled by those amazing little reindeer?? This year has passed so very quickly and it's hard to believe it is almost over already. It's been a good year though full of wonderful memories and many successes. There have also been the normal family tragedies that all families must endure, but those unfortunately are to be expected. So far I am handling the holidays well. I do partake of the seasonal goodies but within reason! I think I have a handle on the whole weight maintenance and feel more secure in that thought with each passing day. I went to our company Christmas party on Friday night and most of the employee spouses hadn't seen me since last Christmas, about 45 pounds ago. And it felt wonderful to hear all the compliments (I'm not conceited by no means but a girl does enjoy being complimented lol) about how amazing I look. It's great to finally be at a place where I can hear a compliment and mentally agree rather than think to myself "does he/she need glasses" or "are they simply crazy or trying to humor the fat girl". I am still the person who gets on the scale AT LEAST twice a day but I no longer freak out at the number staring back at me. I simply take it for what it is and go about my day. The scale is now a tool to help me stay focused on the end picture, and that is to continue to maintain my weight loss and never find myself overweight and miserable again. In short, the scale is my friend. Never thought I'd say that! lol I hope each of you has a wonderful Christmas full of memories that will last a lifetime. The family and I will be heading out on Christmas afternoon to drive 15 hours north to Michigan for a week with hubby's family. They haven't seen me since I was in the low 200s on my journey to lose weight so I am excited. Let's all remember to enjoy the Christmas goodies without depriving ourselves but at the same time, remember to eat sensibly and make the decisions that you won't regret once the holidays are over. Merry Christmas!!

New Family Pics

2008-12-11T12:35:00.005-06:00

Hubby and I recently had a new photo shoot with our lovely girls. I thought that I would share a few of the pics we had taken. This is the whole family and the pic we used for our Christmas card this year.

This one is my dear husband and I. Since I've lost weight I absolutely LOVE to sit on his lap!!

And here is one of my favs of me and my beautiful daughters!

It still feels strange to me to look at all these pics we had taken (nearly 300) and be PROUD of them and to think I look good in them rather than to cringe with embarrassment when I'm forced to look at my size in a picture.

Losing Weight vs. Maintaining Weight Loss

2008-12-09T12:18:00.004-06:00

I was really good over the last week and am thrilled to say that I have gotten rid of all those Thanksgiving pounds and am safely back within the lower half of the maintenance range I set for myself months ago. Whereas my range is 125 to 135, I feel more comfortable within the lower half of that range...I guess because I feel that it gives me more of a cushion to fluctuate without going out of it. I have now been officially "maintaning" my weight loss for 6 months and it feels great. I have always heard that losing is hard work but the real test comes with keeping the weight off. I can so easily see how that could be the case. Once you achieve your goal, you feel like you can finally relax and splurge more often on the foods that you tried to stay away from during your weight loss journey. I can definitely see that I have a bit of a different mindset now than I did while actively trying to reach my goal. Back then if I had dessert at a restaurant, it was only the smallest piece, more often I would concentrate on fresh fruit as my dessert. I don't know if I ate more than 4 or 5 chips during my entire 18 month losing process, but now I feel more comfy to partake of a serving with dip at a cookout. And don't get me wrong, I love being able to have that different mindset now and to be able to relax a little bit, but I can see where the same thing could get a person in trouble if they are not careful. I have mentioned before that I am a scale junkie and weigh every single day, truth be known, I weigh more than once each day (I know, I know...but its just me). Where this behavior could sabatoge some people, it helps keep me on track. After Thanksgiving when the scale wasn't so nice to me, I didn't beat myself up over the fact. I just thought, yep, enjoyed the goodies for Thanksgiving and now its time to get back on target. So for the last week I tried to watch closely what I ate and track all of my calories and go to the gym as I was supposed to, even when I didn't WANT to. My thanks is that here I am back to my desired weight and I was able to splurge for the holiday and not worry about calories. 6 months into weight maintenance I see that this will easily be something that I can live the rest of my life doing. You simply HAVE to have that accountability to yourself and realize if you splurge and gain a couple of pounds or so, you are going to work extra hard and eat extra well in order to return to the desired weight. When I lost weight years ago before my life fell apart after the hurricane, my problems started when I no longer had a scale and I couldn't weigh and physically SEE that number, physically SEE that I was gaining weight. Of course as clothes got tighter and I had to buy larger ones I KNEW I was gaining, but because I didn't have to really see the "number", I was in denial. If I'd been forced to put a number to my enlarging size, I don't think I would have gained as much weight back as I did (try ALL of it) and had to start back from scratch. This time around, maintenance is all about the motto: Enjoy the occasional splurge (be that one meal or a couple of days or even an entire vacation) but understand that you have to immediately get back on track when its over and lose any weight that you gained. So far its working!

Going in the Right Direction

2008-12-03T14:16:00.003-06:00

The scale that is! I ate perfectly yesterday and was blessed on the scale this morning to be down 3.2 pounds. Knew a lot of it was water. I didn't go to the gym today as I never do on Wednesdays since I take off work early to take the kiddies to church. I have once again been perfectly on target with my meals and snacks today, although in the last hour or so I have definitely felt the munchies. I ate my banana and yogurt with granola for my 2pm snack and regardless of how hungry my body tries to TELL me it is between now and supper, we both know it really isn't hungry and it will be getting no food until meal time. Period! Until then, every time it makes the slightest little peep, I'm going to focus on drinking my water and floating to the bathroom as needed. lol This has been the TOM week so while I have never noticed it before, I am now wondering if the urge to munch on everything in sight happens right before I "start" and during this time. At 35 years old you'd think I'd have paid attention to notice that before, but I havne't. So I'm going to see if it happens again next month. I know that last week right before, I had a day at work where I wanted to eat everything in sight and then some. I could no sooner finish with eating one thing then I was thinking about what to eat next. Thank God those days are few and far between. I had planned to weigh-in at Curves tomorrow but considering my "visitor", I think I'm going to put it off until next week. Hope you all have had a great day as well.

The Scale is NOT My Friend....

2008-12-02T14:24:00.002-06:00

I say that while I know completely well exactly WHY it isn't my friend. While my plan to eat as I chose on Thanksgiving Day without thought to calories was wonderful, the plan also included getting right back ON PLAN the following day. This is where I not only fell off the wagon, but the darn thing backed right up over the top of me. I did not eat myself into some sort of sugar coma on Thanksgiving, not even to the point of feeling horribly miserable. That was a success. We even went to see a movie that night and I avoided all candy and popcorn at the theater. Second success. I ate pretty well all day Friday, until we went to dinner with my parents that night and had a semi-healthy supper, but followed it with dessert AND then my dad, bless his sabotaging heart, bought us all a big milkshake afterwards. Saturday we ate out for breakfast and then had a huge lunch, followed by leftovers for supper (which included more of the desserts). Thankfully they were mostly gone by the time Sat. ended. Sunday I had a banana for breakfast and planned to be on task all day....then hubby stopped and got us doughnuts to have before decorating the tree. To add to the problem, he and I normally share a blueberry cake donut, but he bought us each our own this time. Need to beat him with my stick more often. (just kidding lol) He made burgers for lunch which wasn't too horribly bad, but then my parents took us out for Chinese for supper. I ate my normally healthy choices,,,but then the wagon knocked me down again and I had cherry cobbler with ice cream for dessert. And more dessert at home. Not good! Yesterday I decided I would be 100% on plan until Christmas so I could splurge that day and also enjoy vacation since we are leaving that afternoon to go north for 10 days. Did well all thru supper, then hubby came home from work early, put in a family movie for us to watch with the girls and then made way too much popcorn. After the popcorn, he cut some of my homemade pumpkin bread and I had some of that. Enough is enough! I have way more willpower than I have shown in the last week and its time I pull it out of my closet and dust it out and put it to use. I know its there, hiding, and just waiting to be used again. After all, I did NOT lose 150 pounds in 18 months without the ability to say no to those sweets that keep calling out to me! Time to own up to the evil truth...Thanksgiving set me back about 6 pounds! Ugh! But thats okay, I know it isn't all "real" weight. I say this because in spite of the popcorn and pumpkin bread last nght, I was still down 0.6 pounds this morning. Made me happy but then I wanted to kick myself because I thought "guess how much you'd have been down this morning if you hadn't had that crap last night....or at least had only had a small serving". Today I've been good all day and plan to stay away from sweets (which is my weakness) as much as possible. I went to the gym during lunch and burned 400 calories on the treadmill with some horribly steep inclines that nearly kicked my butt several times. My daughter finished the last piece of Mississippi Mud Cake yesterday which is good. Now to just keep away from the pumpkin bread and I'll be fine. I have weigh-in at Curves late this week or early next week and I already know I'm going to have my first gain since I started Curves 2 years ago. But thats okay...while I don't want to have that gain, I know its all part of a normal lifestyle which is going to be full of ups and downs. The key is to make sure I do what is necessary to go back DOWN which is what I always do. Hope you all are doing what you need to do as well to continue on this journey....

Thanksgiving

2008-11-24T11:05:00.003-06:00

It's hard to believe that it will once again be Thanksgiving in just a few days! I have so much to be thankful for this year. I would of course start out with being so blessed to be a Christian woman who has the love of such a wonderful family. I am also thankful for our men and women who will be away from home this year due to their sacrifice for our country (my own nephew being one of the newest). And I am certainly thankful that this will be my first Thanksgiving at my goal weight! That still feels so good to say. My plan is to be really good all week so I can spend Thanksgiving Day NOT thinking about dieting or "being good". One day where I will just eat what I want, however, that is NOT to say that I plan to eat myself into misery. I want to eat all of the goodies but continue to listen to when my body tells me I've had enough. I think that is one of the most important lessons we need to learn on our weight loss journey, the art of listening to our body tell us when to eat and when to stop eating. The body is such a powerful tool and can be a tremendous help if we let it. On my own journey it was hard to get into that habit. I had gotten so used to finishing what was on my plate just because it tasted so good and I didn't want to leave it. I had gotten so used to getting seconds or thirds because I loved the taste of something. Or getting dessert because it sounded or looked good. In all of those instances I wasn't listening to my body. I could feel comfortably full, but I was still going to finish those last 4 or 5 bites on my plate because that was just what I was supposed to do. Where the heck I got that reasoning I am not sure. I could be to the point of really no longer being hungry, but my first helping tasted so good I still wanted more. I could be full from my meal but see the dessert menu and because the picture looked good, I still wanted that cake or pie. And once I got it, I would eat it all even if when I ate the last bite I was already saying I felt stuffed and miserable. Why in the world do we get to the point of ignoring the "full" signal and instead go right on eating more. Its not like I am a poor person who didn't know when I was going to have another meal and had to eat as much as I could. It's not like I couldn't have more of the leftoevers from a meal tomorrow rather than seconds today. It's not like I didn't know I could really and truly take home part of my entree at a restaurant rather than (gasp) let them throw it away. And its not like I couldn't order dessert and share it with my husband rather than having my own at any cost. But I never did any of those things. And in Jan. 2008 I realized the "cost" was the realization that I was on my way to a vast number or health problems and early death if I didn't change my way of thinking. Dieting for me hasn't really been difficult. The hard part was starting to listen to my body tell me I'm full, even when that means I've hardly eaten anything on my plate. As Thanksgiving approaches, let's be thankful for those "full" signals our body tries to help us with, and embrace them as we're surrounded by friends and family on Thursday. The food will be delicious....but it isn't going anywhere. We can have leftovers in the days after. Give yourself permission to splurge and eat whatever you want on that special day. But the next morning, its back on track. Still enjoy the leftovers, but do it within your diet plan. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

My Darling Nephew

2008-11-13T08:54:00.003-06:00

This week is a bittersweet time for my family. My sweet nephew graduated from high school in May and on Sunday he will be leaving to begin the new chapter of his life as he boards a bus bound for Parris Island Marine boot camp. I am so very proud of him! He is an extremely smart kid (I should say man, but to me he'll always be a little boy) who has the ability to make all of his dreams come true. Leaving home and all the people who love you is a difficult thing to do, unfortunately it is a really bad time for him because not only is he leaving his "security", he will be doing so for the holidays. Thanksgiving and Christmas will be very strange not having his smiling face at the table. So while I am extremely proud of him, I will of course be sad to see him go. Definitely bittersweet. But it is certainly what I want for him. I would rather endure the sadness of missing him while knowing he is out there making his dreams come true! We have lots of festivities planned in the coming days. I am making his favorite meal tomorrow for supper, Taco Soup. He said he isn't eating all day so he will have a huge appetite since he knows it will be a long time until he gets it again. lol We also have a cookout/party planned for Saturday night, and will all be going out for breakfast Sunday before accompanying him to the bus station. But thats okay, I will continue to try to make good food choices and go from there. I love you Michael...and I am so very proud of you and the sacrifice you have chosen to make for our country!

Still trudging along....

2008-11-06T14:54:00.003-06:00

Things are much the same from my last post, I feel better, though nothing has really changed...just my reaction to it I suppose. I know and understand that I simply have to take things one day at a time. My eating has continued to be very good this week in spite of "it", so that is huge positive. As I said before, as a previously very overweight woman, it is important to me to make sure I don't resort to food at times of stress. After the weekend Halloween party and subsequent pizza/chips/cookies/candy I helped myself to, I am now comfortably back into the lower half of my maintenance range. This is good...though I want to drop another couple of pounds before I weigh in at Curves so I won't show a gain for the first time ever. Just as I had hoped, knowledge of that monthly weigh-in is a HUGE motivating tool for me to behave and maintain my weight. I may go overboard sometimes during the month, but I make sure as that weigh-in draws near I am doing what I'm supposed to do. Definitely a lifestyle I can live with for the rest of my life, because for months now I see that I can splurge and get right back on the wagon and take those few pounds off. For me, the slight up and down on the scale is well worth it because this way, I am allowing myself to eat those foods that I had stopped eating for so long. Though at times I can honestly say there have been nights that I have wanted to eat nearly everything sweet in the house and did eat much of it. Why? No clue. Thankfully those days do not happen often and when they do, I just dust myself off and climb back on the wagon. I hope this day finds you all doing well and enjoying the gorgeous fall weather. I have the Walk for Diabetes event to attend on Saturday with the family and I am looking forward to it. Not a long walk, only 3 miles, but its great to be out there with family/friends/co-workers knowing that I have helped in the fight against a disease that effects so many Americans. It is something I encourage each of you to get involved with if you aren't already. I am not a diabetic, though both my parents are and my grandfather and his mother were both taking insulin until they passed away. I see firsthand the effects of diabetes, this is one of the many things that gave me a firm kick in the pants to lose weight. I was very fortunate to weigh nearly 280 pounds and NOT have any sort of health problems. Thank GOD I got smart and took the steps needed to lose the weight and hopefully prevent health issues in the future. I know that as a 129 pound woman I am WAY less likely than I was 150 pounds ago. Enjoy your weekend....get out...get moving...enjoy the weather and enjoy your life!!!

Life is going haywire....

2008-11-04T13:07:00.002-06:00

There is an issue in my personal life that is upsetting me quite a bit today. Something I found out last night but don't want to do an in-depth discussion for all the world to see. Suffice it to say that I feel that the rug has been pulled out from under my feet, numb, lost. I am proud to say that thoughts of food did not even enter into my mind when everything occurred and I have continued to feel that way today. Have eaten nothing different than my usual meals and snacks with no thoughts of any sort of eating to forget or to numb the hurt, no mindless snacking just because it is something I can control in a situation where I feel so out of control. That's good. That's what I want to happen at times of stress, no tendency to turn to food for consolation. I never saw myself as one who did that and this has pretty much backed up that idea. On the flip side, I HAVE had thoughts of going in the total opposite direction and NOT eating as much as I should. Why I'm not sure. Again, maybe it is something about the control issue just working in reverse. Because I had those thoughts last night, I am making sure that I do eat as I should today, right on schedule. I can honestly say that the idea of sweets or snacking is just a huge turnoff to me right now, never thought I would say that! I love sweets! On a positive note, at least the leftoever Halloween candy holds no temptation at all for me so that'll help me get back into the lower half of my acceptable range as i prefer to be but haven't stayed at for a couple of weeks. lol Thats about the ONLY positive I can find right now, but its something to hold on to. I was supposed to weigh-in at Curves this week but with all thats going on, I simply don't feel like going to the gym. Can't go tomorrow, won't go Thursday. But I have made a personal promise that I'll get up on Friday and go for a 5 mile walk, its been way too long since I did that. It'll give me some time to be alone and clear my head which is what I really need right now. Have a great day, and if you have a moment, send a prayer my way.

Those good intentions crashed and burned....

2008-11-03T11:36:00.002-06:00

Halloween started off well, did all the last minute party shopping and bought my sweet dumpling squash for supper. But we got way too busy doing all the decorating and I waited too late to start cooking the cake and cookie cake and had no time to bake my squash. Instead, I fell into the pizza trap, and chips, and cookie cake (though I didn't go NEAR the kitty litter cake...yuck) and chocolate candy. Ugh! Oh well, doesn't happen often and we had a blast. There were about 20 kids that came to the party and the girls had a blast. Mom and dad enjoyed ourselves too! The temps weren't too horribly cold until the last 30 minutes or so before the party ended which worked out well. I did get aggravated at the end when the party was to end at 10pm and the last kid didn't get picked up until after 11pm!! What the heck are these parents thinking???!! Saturday I was bad too....all the leftover pizza and cookie cake staring at me...hubby saw me eating a piece of the cake at one point and laughed and asked what I was doing. Told him I was eating an apple. That became our weekend joke, when he cut a piece, he said it was a banana. Boy it would be nice if it really worked that way. Thankfully now it is gone, as is the pizza. Back on track today. I was up a few pounds this morning, but thats okay. Still comfortably within my acceptable range. How did ya'll do on Halloween?

So far....no Halloween Candy!!

2008-10-30T09:32:00.002-05:00

It is Oct. 30th and so far, not a single piece of Halloween candy has made its way across my lips. Considering how much I love chocolate, that is no small feat. A week ago hubby and I bought way too much candy for the Halloween party my kids are having tomorrow night, but it was put up along with the decorations and has not been opened and will not be opened until tomorrow. My parents bought each of the girls a bag of candy of their choice for Halloween and gave it to them on Tuesday, Jessica got York Peppermint Patties which I can easily stay away from since mint isn't my fav candy. Kayla got Kit Kats...yum. Still not my favorites but I do like the little boogers anyway. Both bags have been in the kitchen open since that evening, something I see every time I walk into the kitchen, but so far, haven't had any of it. Tomorrow night could be a different story. Way too much junk food is planned...pizza, chips, lots of candy, coffin full of gummy body parts, cookie cake with gummy severed feet and eyeballs, kitty litter cake, and a skull with rice krispy "brains" inside. The teens will love it, not so sure how my diet will enjoy it. I have weigh-in next week so while I would normally splurge on the occasion, I know I must watch my step very carefully as I don't want to post a gain. I love pizza, but considering how nutritionally horrible it can be, partaking of it right before weigh-in is probably not such a good idea. I may make myself a sweet dumpling squash and eat before the party starts...the more I think of it, thats probably a really good idea. It'll fill me up but yet is so low calorie that if I have a little dessert at the party, I'm still on track. Maybe I'll take some baby carrots to the party as well to nibble on instead of those darn chips that seem to call out to me. Hopefully all the activity of cooking and decorating and running around buying last minute stuff tomorrow will give me plenty of exercise to help as well. My oldest daughter and I have already planned a 5 mile walk for Saturday morning so that'll help too. Now we just have to make hubby and my youngest daughter get up to join us. Hope ya'll have a wonderful Halloween and remember, enjoy the Halloween treats but do so in moderation!

Avoid a Meltdown During the Holidays

2008-10-23T21:38:00.003-05:00

I found an interesting article in my Mom's Weight Watchers Nov/Dec 2008 magazine(article by Gabrielle Gayagoy) about things that can trigger us to eat. It may be:
Guilt - This is your trigger if you are a person who tends to overeat at holiday parties & things,
then beat yourself up over it later
Sadness - this is your trigger if things haven't been going well for you or you recently lost a loved
one and all the holiday stuff only makes you feel worse
Anger - This is your trigger if you see red when you head home for the holidays...maybe you and
a loved one argue every year or family members tend to pry into your personal affairs and
set you off
Anxiety - This is your trigger if you are a person who can't say no and all the endless events
leave your life in chaos

Now, the cheat sheets for overcoming your triggers:
Guilt Cheat Sheet - whether you overate at a party or just ate too many goodies before bed,
start the next day back on track with a healthy menu full of fresh fruits and veggies and all
those other good things we already know we should be eating!

Sadness Cheat Sheet - Try a 10 minute fitness routine to get your endorphins going and help
ease your blues. Do each for one minute without a break: Walk in place, step from side to side
raising one arm overhead each time, walk in place swinging arms, do knee lifts and press both
arms overhead, walk in place pressing both arms overhead with each step, do squats, walk in
place raising one arm overhead each time, throw punches, walk in place swinging arms, stand
with feet hip width apart and raise arms out to sides and overhead as you exhale bringing
your arms down as you exhale.

Anger Cheat Sheet - Before you eat anything, ask yourself 4 questions: 1) Why do I want to eat
this? Am I hungry or is it because I'm mad? 2) If I don't eat this now, will I regreat not eating
it later? 3) If I do eat it, how will I feel later? 4) Is there a healthier option? Your answers
will help you figure out when you are eating because of anger rather than true hunger. If its
due to anger, have a list of things ready you can do instead of soothing yourself with food, such
as write Christmas cards, wrap some gifts, or call a friend to catch up.

Anxiety Cheat Sheet - Instead of launching into Cookie Monster mode when you are stressed,
calm down with some sort of meditation exercise. Or one of my favorite things to do it run a
warm bubble bath, grab a book and a glass of ice water and go relax for an hour or so.

I really liked the anger cheat sheet. I don't eat out of anger, but I am occasionally guilty of the refrigerator hover...that being standing at the frig with the door open just looking for "something" to eat but not knowing what I want. Most of the time it isn't because I'm hungry. I am hopeful that I can use this cheat to stop and ask myself these questions and then move away from the frig and on to something more constructive. Though I am at goal, I still have those mindless munching days when I later ask myself why the heck I did it. But then its on to the Guilt Cheat Sheet and back on track the next day, or the next meal dependent upon when I had the little "snafu". lol

Have a great night!

Maintenance - The "Right" Way or the "Wrong" Way?

2008-10-14T16:57:00.002-05:00

Thus far, I have been at a weight maintenance level for 4 months. So far, it is going quite well. Am I doing it "right" or "wrong"...who the heck knows. I simply know that each month when I weigh in at Curves, I am within a pound or two of the same weight. Works for me! I had originally thought once I reached my goal, my weight would just stay around the same thing every day. In a perfect world, that might actually be the case. However, with me, that isn't the case. My weight during the month can fluctuate as much as 8 pounds or so....always staying within the 10 pounds "window" I set for myself, but still, the fluctuations up and down are there. This allows me the flexibility to go to cookouts and eat things I wouldn't have dared touch 6 months ago when I was still trying to lose weight, or to go to restaurants and splurge on dishes that aren't always the best, or to enjoy some after dinner dessert (in moderation). Most of the time I'm still pretty good...but then there are those days where you just want to eat everything but the sink or I indulge a little too much in the yummy goodies...then I see a higher number on the scale. But I don't freak out. I just make sure I work my butt off to get back to where I'm supposed to be by the 4th of each month so I won't post a gain at Curves. No big deal if at some point this month I was up 7 or 8 pounds...its that Curves weigh-in that matters. lol Is this the right way to be in maintenance? Some might say I'm doing it all wrong. Some might say whatever works for me. I say, it works, I'm staying on track, this allows me to be flexible and enjoy the goodies each month but STILL keep the mindset of not straying too much. I believe this is the plan for me, one that I can live the rest of my life with or never risk gaining all the weight back. It allows me to be "bad" when I want to, but after a day or two of that behavior, I am back on track and working on getting back to where I'm supposed to be. Granted some days I am a heck of a lot worse than I should be but thank GOD those days don't happen often. But when they do, I accept them for what they are, pull my skinny jeans up (boy I love saying that lol), give myself a "you know better" talk, and get back on track. I think that's all we can ask of ourselves in the long run.

Another Year Older

2008-10-06T08:27:00.002-05:00

Today is my birthday,,,,35 years old. It has always been strange to me to hear how people have such emotional issues tied to getting another year older. Birthdays don't faze me in the least. I mean, seriously, today I am one day older than I was yesterday...this is the exact same thing that happens every day of every year, so why should the fact that I am now 35 instead of 34 mean anything. I can however, look at myself today and smile at the fact that I am now so much healthier than I was at 30 years old, heck, healthier than I was even at 25 years old. My weight maintenance continues on pretty much uneventfully. I had another weigh-in at Curves last week and maintained on both my weight and my inches. Now that certainly isn't to say that I didn't gain when I went away to the beach for the weekend or the trip to Nashville, but as I've said before, thats fine with me as long as I get back on track when I return home. Over the weekend I splurged with all the birthday celebrations, but again, thats acceptable to me now. Once today is over with, I'll be back on my game plan. It is nice to occasionally just order what I want off a restaurant menu without focusing strictly on what I "need" to eat rather than what I might "want" to eat. While I rarely ever go out to dinner with that mindset, I think it's important to occasionally do that and its something I haven't done. One thing I need to pay close attention to is my weekness over a pumpkin bread that I make. I baked 9 loaves yesterday and ate way too much of it. But it was the first time I've made it since I started my journey is Jan. 2007, so that's okay. Karyn shared with me on the comments about the Curves weight loss "mantra" which I'd never heard before. I guess I do something loosely similiar to that by watching the scale and staying within my range that I set for myself, but I might try the three pound thing. Have a wonderful Monday everyone!

Life Can Be Hard

2008-09-29T09:32:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was a difficult day for my family. It was the 12 year anniversary of the day our son died of SIDS. In many ways it seems like longer, in many ways it seems like it all happened yesterday. I can still so easily picture the events of that morning, the day that my entire world came crashing down around me and I joined the parents club that no one wants to be a part of, the day I became a mother who had to bury her child. Its always amazing to me, however, the way that God gives us exactly what we need when we need it. We went to church yesterday and in our Sunday school class, the lesson was about God and how although we don't often understand, He always does what is best for us and His outcome is the right one in a situation. The teacher stressed how that is difficult to understand sometimes when we lose a loved one to death or when other bad things happen, but he said that one day we will understand. When we stand before the Lord, we can ask him all of the "why's" that we have lived for years with. That is a comforting thought to me to think that one day, not only will I be able to hold my precious baby once more, but I will be able to look at my Heavenly Father and ask him to help me understand why Cody was taken from us. Except for the somberness of yesterday, we had a good weekend. We went to see "Fireproof" at movies on Friday night, and it is a movie that I highly recommend! It made me laugh alot but it also made me cry. If you, or anyone you know, is experiencing marital problems, go!!! My hubby and I aren't, but it was still a movie that you can't help but see and question how you can strive to be a better spouse. I have weigh-in at Curves on Thursday so this will be a week to make sure to stay on track and not splurge. My mom is trying some new recipes and has invited us to eat tonight so I'll have to watch my calories today in order to account for that. Also only plan to have small portions of the new dishes. So far, this weight maintenance is going quite well. I wish I could say that I stay the same weight every day, but that isn't the case. I tend to gain over the weekend, or when we go away for mini-trips, and then get back on track during the weekdays to get back to my base weight. BUT I stay within the weight range I set for myself (125-135). While I'm sure it would be better to be 127 all the time without fail...I figure if I slip up closer to 135 but then get back on track and back to the lower weight soon after, then I'm doing great. I just know that I will NEVER again be overweight!!! I will never again let myself go!! I love the way I feel, the way I look, the energy that I have, and while many people HATE their scales, I see mine as one of my best friends. It is a little box that will be honest with me and keep me on track with my maintenance...I can step on it and know if I can afford to splurge a little or if I need to stick tightly to my calorie allowance. The numbers don't lie. I got in trouble last time I'd lost weight because when life fell apart after the hurricane, and I no longer had the scale to be accountable to, I gained it all back. Now I make myself weigh every morning that I am home so I physically see those numbers and cannot be in denial. If I splurge over the weekend or on a trip, I know that the scale will not be so kind on Monday morning. But seeing those numbers gives me the incentive to get back on track and back to the lower part of my "range". Accountability...I htink its what we all need in our journey!

Seeing Myself with Blinders On

2008-09-18T10:30:00.004-05:00

Strange title, isn't it? But I say that because at least for me, it is often so true. When I was at my heaviest weight (277), I KNEW that I was overweight. I KNEW that I was really overweight. But I could for some reason look in the mirror and not THINK that I looked as big as I did. And then I would see one of those rare pictures that I tried to avoid being taken and reality would slap me in the face with a 2X4. I would immediately start thinking how I couldn't believe I really looked like that. My mirror didn't seem to reflect it, but those darn photos sure did. And now I find myself at the opposite end of the spectrum, at my goal weight. I look in the mirror now and I like what I see much better, but I don't see the really skinny woman that everyone else SAYS that I am. While I saw myself as smaller when I was overweight, I now see myself as bigger now that I'm at a healthy weight. Not to the point of how you read that some people still see themselves as fat. No, I certainly don't see that. Heck, maybe I should chalk it up to my mind being in denial. Yes, that makes sense. Before I was in denial that I was almost 300 pounds, that I was one person taking up more space that TWO normal weight women would use. Now maybe my mind is still in denial that I have finally reached my goal and am finally at a healthy weight. Who knows. As I said, I look in the mirror and I like what I see now. I enjoy having photos taken now. Gasp at the mere thought! lol But sometimes it still catches me off guard when people show appreciation for how I look again. I spent so much time being overweight, being used to avoiding attention, that it takes me by surprise when someone goes out of their way to whistle or yell at me when I'm out walking on the trail or when I go out to get the mail. Heck, one day I was stopped at a stoplight and the guy next to me honked his horn and got me to roll down the window so his male passenger could tell me I was beautiful. While I am happily married and only have eyes for my loving husband, it does add a little spring to my step when these sorts of things happen. I tell my husband that it shocks me when it happens and he just smiles and tells me I better get used to it. lol Have you noticed that as you lose weight, you are enjoying the attention and appreciation of others rather than trying to avoid it at all costs like you used to? Do you have magic mirrors in your home like I do that make it difficult to see yourself as others do?

Squash Pizza

2008-09-13T12:44:00.002-05:00

When I first found the idea for making the "pizza" with pattypan squash, I was thrilled. I love pizza and was beside myself with the idea of being able to eat a really healthy, low calorie one. Hubby and I made them for lunch today...the first time I've ever used the broiler feature on my oven. The recipe had said to put the shelf on the highest level which I have now realized is not accurate...they started to burn and also by the end had set off my smoke alarm. A fact which cracked my 11 year old up. But not to be swayed, we scraped the burnt part off the top to give them a try. My hubby took a bite and looked as if he wanted to gag...literally. Have to give him credit, he did end up eating two of them before throwing in the towel and making himself something else. He said its a recipe he'd never ask me to make. I thought they tasted okay, while certainly not fantastic. I ended up eating all 3 of my small ones and a couple of bites of a fourth one. Even with that, the calories I consumed are extremely low. Anyway, I ate them and thought okay, I probably won't ever do it again but at least I know I don't really care for them now. However, now about 30 minutes later, I KNOW that I won't make them again. My stomach is rebelling and just feels yucky! Not to the point of being sick to my stomach but just feel miserable. I guess its just the mixture of all the stuff, but whatever it was, it won't happen again. lol Tonight I'll be making a recipe hubby and I have tried to re-create from a delicious lunch we had last weekend in Nashville...seafood stuffed baked potatoes. They are amazing! Shrimp, crab meat, mushrooms, and sauce mixture put over baked potatoes. Yum! This will definitely make up for the crash & burn of lunch. After enjoying that meal, the family will be going on our weekly 5 mile walk together which I am looking forward to doing. Also bought some tennis balls when I went shopping earlier and we're going to start teaching the girls to play tennis. I'm sure that will be interesting! I hope each of you have weekend and I continue to pray for the safety of the people in Texas!

After Picture As Some Have Requested =D

2008-09-11T21:27:00.002-05:00

As requested, here is a larger "after" picture.

Good Week

2008-09-11T17:11:00.002-05:00

It's been a very good week of being back on target with my meals after splurging all weekend in Nashville. I have managed to stay away from those yummy pralines we brought back other than taking one bite of hubby's last night after dinner. I have a little over 1 pound left to lose and I'll be back to pre-weekend weight, so not too shabby. I am looking forward to a new dish tomorrow night for supper. We're having our family night where we play games with the kiddies and we're going to make homemade pizzas. The kids will do their own but then hubby and I are going to try something I saw in a magazine. You use the patty pan squash and slice them to about 1/4 inch thick. Broil them for about 5-10 minutes. Put your desired toppings on them and broil another 5 to 10 minutes. We're going to try to make taco pizza with them. Sounds very strange but who knows, it may be delicious. At worst, we'll throw them in the trash and find something else to eat. Hopefully we'll love them as this will be such a low calorie "pizza" choice for us. I'll let you know how that creation goes. Hubby has lost all of the weight that he gained over our trip so he was a happy little camper. He is back at his lowest point in about 10 years now (217) so I reminded him to be really good this weekend and maybe he'll see the scale creep even lower. I am so proud of him! My prayers go out to any of you in the path of Hurricane Ike this weekend. Please be careful and take precautions to protect yourself and your family. Possessions can be replaced (as I well know) but your family cannot.

Anniversary Thoughts

2008-09-10T09:20:00.004-05:00

Today is my 15th wedding anniversary! So much has happened in that time and its amazing how much I have changed over the years. When Gary and I married, I was 19 years old (almost 20) and immediately changed from the role of living at home with mom & dad and having no financial responsibilities at all, to the role of Navy wife with a husband who was stationed on a ship that spent more time at sea than at home. When we married, I weighed about 132 pounds if I recall correctly and was in wonderful shape. But I think I fell into a vicious cycle of being home alone so often and eating while watching tv, or going out to eat too often with friends. Then came baby #1 and the associated pregnancy weight gain. After we had Jessica, her brother Cody came along just 15 months later. No real time to lose all the baby weight before being pregnant again. After Cody was born, we also got out of the Navy and relocated to Florida which brought more life changes. But then perhaps the biggest life changing experience happened just 2 1/2 months after his birth, when we lost our precious son to SIDS. My entire world was shattered. Having Jessica helped us to get thru the days because we knew that we HAD to do it for her. I got pregnant with our daughter Kayla immediately (not planned but most definitely a blessing) and she was born 1 year and 4 days after her brother. Obviously having 3 children back to back was a recipe for disaster with my weight. I never had time to let my body bounce back from a pregnancy before another blessing was on the way. lol Then came falling into the habit of eating horribly and having those late night "second suppers" is what I have lovingly come to call them. Gary and I both kept gaining weight. While I wasn't happy with how I looked, I obviously didn't seem to mind it enough to do anything about it. In 2003 I did get motivated and started a diet and exercise routine. I lost down to 162 pounds and felt great. But then life fell apart again when our area took a horrible hit in Sept. 2004 from Hurricane Ivan. We lost our home and most everything in it, everything that was outside in sheds, yard, and also both vehicles. We moved in with my parents for nearly 2 years along with my grandfather who also lost all he had. There were 7 people and 9 dogs living in a 1500 SF home. Again healthy eating went out the window and we found ourselves turning to those comfort foods (making brownies or cookies or cinnamon rolls every night, high calorie meals). While I could eat healthy in my own home, I felt pushed into eating at their home. For instance, if they wanted a snack at night but I said I didn't, they would say they wouldn't eat one either. So I would relent and go eat something I never really wanted. Now I am strong enough to say oh well, that is your choice and let it go. Back then, I caved to the pressure. And that, ladies and gentlemen is what allowed my weight to go right back to 277 as it was when I had started. At least I didn't go higher but heck, 277 is plenty! Once were back in our own home, 4 months later I got back on track and decided enough was enough. I was thrilled that my husband and my parents all got on board with me for our own "Biggest Loser" competition. We all put $50 into a pot and set a 6 month challenge, whoever lost the biggest % of weight at the end, got the $200 to spend as they chose. I won the money but we all won because we all lost weight. I am at goal now, Gary has lost 70 pounds, mom has lost about 70 pounds, and Dad has lost about 12 pounds (he lost more but gained back). Dad has struggled because he loves to eat and doesn't have much will power. But on a positive note, his blood sugar is more under control than it used to be when it stayed at DANGEROUS levels. In looking back over the years, its amazing how life has changed and I have changed with it. I am proud to say that I am so much stronger now than I was before, both emotionally and physically. I weigh less now than when I got married! Love that idea! Do you see those changes in yourself since you began your weight loss journey? Can you look back at your life and see where you went wrong and your weight problems began? I think its important to recognize those things so we can ensure that they never happen again. And I think its important to have some sort of accountability too. Although I am at goal now, I will continue to go to Curves for the rest of my life (God willing I can do so). I say this because I KNOW every month I will be getting on a scale and getting measured by my trainer. I do NOT want to be in a position to have them look at me and ask WHAT HAPPENED this month?? That monthly weigh-in gives me extra encouragement to stay on track with my weight maintenance. When I gained the weight back before, I think it was easier because I no longer had a scale and could not physically SEE the numbers creeping back up. I don't believe I would have let it go so far if I had weighed and had to face those numbers...instead I had the mentality that it wasn't really happening because I didn't know how much I was gaining. Never mind the idea that I kept having to buy larger clothes again. Do you have some sort of accountability set up to help you? Is it a monthly gym weigh-in or WW weigh-ins or do you have a friend that helps you with your goals?

Time to Get Back on Track

2008-09-08T17:18:00.002-05:00

My anniversary getaway to Nashville was wonderful just as I'd hoped it would be. While we did do a lot of walking over the course of the trip, we also enjoyed some wonderful meals and desserts. We spent about 6 hours Friday in Opry Mills which is a huge mall that built on the site of what used to be Opryland theme park. Spent way too much money on goodies for the kids but we enjoy spoiling them so thats okay. We ate at a mall buffet for lunch and then my dear husband cooked dinner at the hotel that night. We also were able to get tickets to the Grand Old Opry for Sat. night featuring Loretta Lynn, Jessica Simpson, and Patti Loveless among others. Saturday was spent in downtown Nashville walking around for hours touring the sites. It was such a neat experience to see the Ryman Auditorium (old site of the Grand Old Opry) and we also got to hang out at the Wildhorse Saloon and Coyote Ugly. I am now the proud owner of a "I danced on the bar at Coyote Ugly Saloon in Nashville" t-shirt! My kids keep asking if I did it and I just smile and tell them "what happened in Nashville, stays in Nashville". My 13 year old says she does NOT want to know! 2 years ago I never would have even considered the idea of doing such a thing! What a difference the time has made! We also stumbled on a farmers market downtown that left me full of jealousy wishing we had one close to where we live. The foods were amazing and we bought some but of course I'd love the ability to visit there on a regular basis. We also visited a candy store that specializes in pralines...amaretto, bourbon, and jack daniels, as well as chocolate turtles. We each had one as a little snack and then bought a tin to bring home to share. I plan to freeze most of them to enjoy occasionally as they are very tempting sitting on the counter. I weighed this morning and it showed I was up 5 pounds! Thank goodness I know it wasn't "real"...I mean, the numbers were real but I know that while I did splurge, I didn't eat THAT much. I'm guessing most of it is due to eating saltier foods that usual plus not drinking anywhere near as much water as I normally do on a daily basis. I am hopeful that most of it will be gone within the week, so we'll see. Hubby also showed he was up 5 pounds. Neither of us is concerned and just have the attitude of how much we enjoyed the trip and one another and now its bad to get back on track. How do you handle those steps backward? Do you think its okay and just time to focus back on the path to your goal, or do you get overwhelmed and frustrated and find yourself eating more and making a bad situation even worse? I have always believed how we handle the setbacks is more important that how we handle the positive things. I hope that today each of you will focus on how well you are doing with your own weight loss in spite of an occasional setback, and give yourself permission to enjoy that occasional splurge. It's what will keep you sane and focused on the "long haul".

Curves Weigh-in/Anniversary Getaway

2008-09-04T20:39:00.002-05:00

Today was weigh-in day at Curves...I already knew I'd lost weight since last time (3 pounds) but I was happy to see I also lost another 2 inches which brought me to 113 inches that I have lost since January 2007. My body was was down to about 19.6% which was a happy moment too. Hard to believe when I started this my body fat was 47.00%!! Almost HALF of me was nothing more than fat. Sad and so scary at the same time! My mom also lost 3 pounds and 2 inches this month so I'm totally proud of her and the efforts she puts in (though she quickly says she hates to exercise and it will never get better lol). Tonight after my dear husband gets home from work, we'll sleep a couple of hours and then head off for our long weekend anniversary getaway without the kiddies to Nashville (about 6 hours from here). I am excited but as always, hesitant about getting into a situation where there will be so much eating out. I will try to do my usual and find a hotel with a kitchenette so we can have some healthy meals in the room. If not, I'll try to focus on portions and making healthy choices on the menu. I already know that I'll come home with at least a small gain, and that's okay. I have come to realize that the ups and downs on the scale are a part of life, and while I never like seeing the numbers higher than they were the day before, I find it empowering to look at the numbers and say "Yes I gained, but I enjoyed the splurge and now its time to get back to my normal way of eating". Normal...thats an interesting word. The other day I thought about a typical daily menu now and then compared it to "before"...I was shocked at the result. With the food eduation I now possess, there is no wonder at all that I weighed nearly 300 pounds!

Before Jan. 2007 Sample Menu:
Breakfast: One can of soda; 2 poptarts OR a Sausage, egg, cheese McGriddle, hashbrown, and large coke
Snack: Bag of chips or cookies and a soda
Lunch: Ramen noodles OR whole frozen pizza (about the size of a dinner plate) OR Big Mac, large fries, large coke
Snack: 2 Krispy Kreme donuts OR cookies OR someone at the office might go to the store and get Klondike bars and a soda
Supper: 2 cups of hamburger helper, corn with butter, 2 biscuits with butter & jelly, at least 2 large glasses of coke
Snack: 1 or 2 Little Debbie snack cakes OR hubby and I might order a pizza sub OR we might share 5 or 6 large sausage with BBQ sauce, coke

Now Sample Menu:
Breakfast: 1 serving of instant sugar free maple & brown sugar oatmeal, large banana, water
Snack: 1/2 cup fat free cottage cheese, large peach, water
Lunch: 3 cups steamed cabbage, 2 fat free hot dogs, 24 baby carrots, water
Snack: apple, light yogurt, and 1 Tbs. granola, water
Dinner: 4 oz. grilled chicken, 3 cups steamed veggies, water
Snack: Sugar free pudding cup or fresh fruit, water

As you can see, a huge change is that I no longer drink coke. When I look back at a day and see how many calories I wasted on sodas! I see now that a large portion of my weight gain was most likely due to that, then you factor in all the crap I was eating and I was a walking recipe for disaster. We used to eat Hamburger Helper quite often simply because we liked it. When I really started looking at labels, I checked the things that were in my pantry. I nearly choked when I read the label for HH. One of our fav kinds had over 300 calories for one serving, then when I saw a serving was HALF A CUP!! Geez...I know I'd eat at least 2 cups at supper and that alone was over 1200 calories! Throw in some biscuits and those huge glasses of coke and I was having more than a whole day of calories in a 30 minute meal. When Gary and I started making a habit of what we called a snack but let's be realistic, it was another supper, AND it was usually around 10 or 11 at night! What were we thinking! Sometimes I go grocery shopping and I still laugh when I look in my buggy at the checkout, bag after bag of fresh fruit and veggies, fat free dairy products, granola bars, etc. Before it was packed with everything processed, and tons of junk food. I never bought fruit or veggies. I wish I could have seen the problems years ago but back then, my buggy looked "normal". Isn't it amazing how "normal" can vary so much in a couple years time? Has your normal changed? Better go get packed, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and I'll post on Sunday with how eating on the trip went. Hopefully the weather will be nice and we'll be able to get a lot of walking in to offset any splurges.

Moderation vs. Deprivation

2008-09-04T07:40:00.002-05:00

Over the years I have read so many articles and posts about overweight people trying to figure out exactly WHY they are overweight. Many have found they overeat as a coping mechanism, as a reaction to stress, as a result of some sort of childhood abuse....my problem was that I simply enjoyed eating! And unfortunately, the things I enjoyed eating were the horrible things that caused me to one day wake up and find that I was knocking on the door of 300 pounds. I was a major pasta lover...and bread...and don't even get me started on sweets. I have a sweet tooth that could tempt me to eat a chocolate fence post. lol Notice I say that I HAVE a sweet tooth, not HAD. This is something that I still have to watch daily and know I will continue to have to do so for life. When I started my weight loss journey, I quickly knew that I wanted no part of a diet that said what I could and could not eat. To me, that was just a recipe for disaster. Figured if I couldn't eat something, that would just make me want it even more. I'm still a 3 year old stuck in a 34 year olds body I suppose. And the idea of low carb and induction and all those other words that gave me a headache trying to figure out was just more than I wanted to handle. Though about Weight Watchers as I had a friend in high school who did great on it, but honestly, as my husband says, I'm cheap and didn't want to have to pay someone to help me lose weight if I could in any way do it on my own. Thus began my plan to eat whatever I wanted, just in moderation. I decided to try to limit my calories to 1300 each day and see how that went. My plan was easy, after all I can read labels and add numbers like the best of them. For me, the calorie watching worked well...I quickly realized that I was able to eat MORE if I went with lower calorie options and if I wanted a high calorie meal or a high calorie dessert...I could have it but I knew I'd have to eat like a starving rabbit the rest of the day. Needless to say, that wasn't a tempting idea and therefore, I would steer away from the stuff I shouldn't have been eating in the first place. I think that education about food is our best defense against being overweight. The internet has given us the tools to shape our bodies....literally! I began checking out restaurant websites before I went in order to decide the best meal I could order (great idea because what we often THINK is a good choice, actually is not). I also invested in a book called Eat This, Not That which is an amazing tool. It has tons of restaurants and gives you 3 or 4 good choices and then 3 or 4 to stay away from. It also breaks down Mexican, Italian, Indian, Chinese, etc. menus and gives you good ideas to order. One hint I loved was when I go to eat Mexican and I always order fajitas. The book said to ask for corn tortillas instead of the typical flour ones that come with the fajitas...you save about 100 calories per tortilla. Wow! Now this is my routine. I also realized how important being educated was when I read about the Ruby Tuesday menu. Many people who go in wanting a "healthy" burger would go for the Turkey Burger....you think its a good choice for your diet. Well, this turkey burger is over 1000 calories!!!! Can you believe that? I don't know what the heck they do to a darn turkey burger to make it that many calories but as a dieter I'd be in shock if I ate that thing and THEN realized the damage I'd done! So educate yourself and understand that the seemingly healthy choice isn't always the healthy choice! I also used to love fried shrimp, until I realized they may have about 4 times the calories of boiled or grilled shrimp. Now, I may occasionally eat a couple of fried shrimp, but in general, all of my seafood is now ordered grilled, the extra calories just aren't worth it to me. I think one of the things that has many my lifestyle change something that I know I can do forever is the fact that I still allow myself to have dessert when I want it. I just make sure I account for it in my calories for the day. When I go to a buffet, I focus on a huge salad with fat free dressing, some sort of grilled or baked meat, lots of veggies, and I stay away from anything with sauces or pastas and potatoes, knowing at the end of my meal I'll enjoy a reasonable serving of carrot cake or a little ice cream and one cookie. I do not deprive myself and that makes it easier for me to eat healthy the majority of the time. Take care and have a wonderful day!

My Introduction to Blog World

2008-09-03T11:16:00.000-05:00

In January 2007, I decided it was time for a change. And not just a small change...but a HUGE one! We were in the process of dealing with the horrible downhill path of my grandfather's battle with cancer and it was just a very emotional time. To witness firsthand the horror of what he was going thru and the pain his poor body was in was beyond words. Finally it struck me, what the heck am I doing? Do I want to one day be in that position with my family tearfully watching me struggle to the end of my life in so much pain? It could so easily be me...being overweight is a major contributing factor to the odds to getting cancer. In a world where so many healthy people are diagnosed with cancer every single day, do I really want to keep living a life that will increase those already scary odds? Heck no! Add to this the fact that being overweight is the obvious contributing factor to diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems...all issues that are prevalent in my family. It was certainly time to wake up! And aside from the health issues I was quickly heading for (by the grace of God I was healthy and showed no signs of medical problems in spite of my weight), there were other things to consider. I was tired of not being able to be the type of wife and mother I wanted to be, the type my family deserved. At 276.6 pounds, I obviously couldn't join my kids on the amusement park rides they asked me to do. I didn't have th energy to play with them at the playground or go on long walks with them. I was exhausted alot of the time too. On weekends when I could be spending time with the family, I could easily sleep until 1 or 2 in the afternoon. And then with my marriage. I have always been blessed to have a husband who loved me and told me how gorgeous I was no matter how much I weighed, but I certainly couldn't look in the mirror and see that same beauty. I was also tired of seeing all those cute clothes in the stores and buying them certainly wasn't an option because the biggest they sold was an XL when I needed a size 24 or so. I had a lot of reasons to lose weight, and it was time to get off my butt and do it. I started a low calorie diet and began charting everything that I ate. I cut out all sodas which I loved because obviously they would use up a huge allotment of my calories each day. Water became one of my best friends and I drank tons of it. I began walking every day during my lunch time at work and I also joined Curves. 18 months later, I am so proud to say that I am at my goal weight...a range that I set between 125 and 135 pounds. I have lost MORE than HALF OF ME!!! That is just unreal! I try to make sure to stay below 130 but on vacations I do sometimes creep above that...but quickly get myself back on track to make sure I do not go above 135 pounds. I am one of those daily weighers and have decided that I always will be. This helps keep me motivated and lets me know if I'm low in my range...I can splurge a little today. If I'm higher for some reason, I focus on what I eat and make sure I'm within my calories, because yep...I STILL monitor what I eat each day. So thats me in a nutshell...while I have reached my goal weight, my journey is far from over. Weight issues run in my family and I have come to realize this is something that I will have to be mindful of for the rest of my life. Since I am at goal, I do allow splurges now, but I always stay focused on remaining within my range. I am also proud to say that as a result of the healthy changes in my life, my husband has also lost over 70 pounds and is only about 30 pounds from his goal. My mother has also lost about 70 pounds and is only about 10 pounds from her goal. Awesome job family!!! I had to laugh over the weekend when we had a little getaway to Biloxi. While my 13 year old daughter was putting her contacts in the next morning at the hotel, I put her jeans on...AND THEY FIT!! Now mind you, she has a gorgeous figure....I couldn't believe it. Of course she didn't appreciate it a bit and said "please take my pants off". lol Then my 11 year old asked me to put hers on...and they fit too. lol Granted they had a little stretch in them, but it felt amazing! Is there something you have done lately that made you feel amazing? I hope so...we all need that!