Going in the Right Direction

The scale that is! I ate perfectly yesterday and was blessed on the scale this morning to be down 3.2 pounds. Knew a lot of it was water. I didn't go to the gym today as I never do on Wednesdays since I take off work early to take the kiddies to church. I have once again been perfectly on target with my meals and snacks today, although in the last hour or so I have definitely felt the munchies. I ate my banana and yogurt with granola for my 2pm snack and regardless of how hungry my body tries to TELL me it is between now and supper, we both know it really isn't hungry and it will be getting no food until meal time. Period! Until then, every time it makes the slightest little peep, I'm going to focus on drinking my water and floating to the bathroom as needed. lol This has been the TOM week so while I have never noticed it before, I am now wondering if the urge to munch on everything in sight happens right before I "start" and during this time. At 35 years old you'd think I'd have paid attention to notice that before, but I havne't. So I'm going to see if it happens again next month. I know that last week right before, I had a day at work where I wanted to eat everything in sight and then some. I could no sooner finish with eating one thing then I was thinking about what to eat next. Thank God those days are few and far between. I had planned to weigh-in at Curves tomorrow but considering my "visitor", I think I'm going to put it off until next week. Hope you all have had a great day as well.

The Scale is NOT My Friend....

I say that while I know completely well exactly WHY it isn't my friend. While my plan to eat as I chose on Thanksgiving Day without thought to calories was wonderful, the plan also included getting right back ON PLAN the following day. This is where I not only fell off the wagon, but the darn thing backed right up over the top of me. I did not eat myself into some sort of sugar coma on Thanksgiving, not even to the point of feeling horribly miserable. That was a success. We even went to see a movie that night and I avoided all candy and popcorn at the theater. Second success. I ate pretty well all day Friday, until we went to dinner with my parents that night and had a semi-healthy supper, but followed it with dessert AND then my dad, bless his sabotaging heart, bought us all a big milkshake afterwards. Saturday we ate out for breakfast and then had a huge lunch, followed by leftovers for supper (which included more of the desserts). Thankfully they were mostly gone by the time Sat. ended. Sunday I had a banana for breakfast and planned to be on task all day....then hubby stopped and got us doughnuts to have before decorating the tree. To add to the problem, he and I normally share a blueberry cake donut, but he bought us each our own this time. Need to beat him with my stick more often. (just kidding lol) He made burgers for lunch which wasn't too horribly bad, but then my parents took us out for Chinese for supper. I ate my normally healthy choices,,,but then the wagon knocked me down again and I had cherry cobbler with ice cream for dessert. And more dessert at home. Not good! Yesterday I decided I would be 100% on plan until Christmas so I could splurge that day and also enjoy vacation since we are leaving that afternoon to go north for 10 days. Did well all thru supper, then hubby came home from work early, put in a family movie for us to watch with the girls and then made way too much popcorn. After the popcorn, he cut some of my homemade pumpkin bread and I had some of that. Enough is enough! I have way more willpower than I have shown in the last week and its time I pull it out of my closet and dust it out and put it to use. I know its there, hiding, and just waiting to be used again. After all, I did NOT lose 150 pounds in 18 months without the ability to say no to those sweets that keep calling out to me! Time to own up to the evil truth...Thanksgiving set me back about 6 pounds! Ugh! But thats okay, I know it isn't all "real" weight. I say this because in spite of the popcorn and pumpkin bread last nght, I was still down 0.6 pounds this morning. Made me happy but then I wanted to kick myself because I thought "guess how much you'd have been down this morning if you hadn't had that crap last night....or at least had only had a small serving". Today I've been good all day and plan to stay away from sweets (which is my weakness) as much as possible. I went to the gym during lunch and burned 400 calories on the treadmill with some horribly steep inclines that nearly kicked my butt several times. My daughter finished the last piece of Mississippi Mud Cake yesterday which is good. Now to just keep away from the pumpkin bread and I'll be fine. I have weigh-in at Curves late this week or early next week and I already know I'm going to have my first gain since I started Curves 2 years ago. But thats okay...while I don't want to have that gain, I know its all part of a normal lifestyle which is going to be full of ups and downs. The key is to make sure I do what is necessary to go back DOWN which is what I always do. Hope you all are doing what you need to do as well to continue on this journey....

Thanksgiving

It's hard to believe that it will once again be Thanksgiving in just a few days! I have so much to be thankful for this year. I would of course start out with being so blessed to be a Christian woman who has the love of such a wonderful family. I am also thankful for our men and women who will be away from home this year due to their sacrifice for our country (my own nephew being one of the newest). And I am certainly thankful that this will be my first Thanksgiving at my goal weight! That still feels so good to say. My plan is to be really good all week so I can spend Thanksgiving Day NOT thinking about dieting or "being good". One day where I will just eat what I want, however, that is NOT to say that I plan to eat myself into misery. I want to eat all of the goodies but continue to listen to when my body tells me I've had enough. I think that is one of the most important lessons we need to learn on our weight loss journey, the art of listening to our body tell us when to eat and when to stop eating. The body is such a powerful tool and can be a tremendous help if we let it. On my own journey it was hard to get into that habit. I had gotten so used to finishing what was on my plate just because it tasted so good and I didn't want to leave it. I had gotten so used to getting seconds or thirds because I loved the taste of something. Or getting dessert because it sounded or looked good. In all of those instances I wasn't listening to my body. I could feel comfortably full, but I was still going to finish those last 4 or 5 bites on my plate because that was just what I was supposed to do. Where the heck I got that reasoning I am not sure. I could be to the point of really no longer being hungry, but my first helping tasted so good I still wanted more. I could be full from my meal but see the dessert menu and because the picture looked good, I still wanted that cake or pie. And once I got it, I would eat it all even if when I ate the last bite I was already saying I felt stuffed and miserable. Why in the world do we get to the point of ignoring the "full" signal and instead go right on eating more. Its not like I am a poor person who didn't know when I was going to have another meal and had to eat as much as I could. It's not like I couldn't have more of the leftoevers from a meal tomorrow rather than seconds today. It's not like I didn't know I could really and truly take home part of my entree at a restaurant rather than (gasp) let them throw it away. And its not like I couldn't order dessert and share it with my husband rather than having my own at any cost. But I never did any of those things. And in Jan. 2008 I realized the "cost" was the realization that I was on my way to a vast number or health problems and early death if I didn't change my way of thinking. Dieting for me hasn't really been difficult. The hard part was starting to listen to my body tell me I'm full, even when that means I've hardly eaten anything on my plate. As Thanksgiving approaches, let's be thankful for those "full" signals our body tries to help us with, and embrace them as we're surrounded by friends and family on Thursday. The food will be delicious....but it isn't going anywhere. We can have leftovers in the days after. Give yourself permission to splurge and eat whatever you want on that special day. But the next morning, its back on track. Still enjoy the leftovers, but do it within your diet plan. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

My Darling Nephew

This week is a bittersweet time for my family. My sweet nephew graduated from high school in May and on Sunday he will be leaving to begin the new chapter of his life as he boards a bus bound for Parris Island Marine boot camp. I am so very proud of him! He is an extremely smart kid (I should say man, but to me he'll always be a little boy) who has the ability to make all of his dreams come true. Leaving home and all the people who love you is a difficult thing to do, unfortunately it is a really bad time for him because not only is he leaving his "security", he will be doing so for the holidays. Thanksgiving and Christmas will be very strange not having his smiling face at the table. So while I am extremely proud of him, I will of course be sad to see him go. Definitely bittersweet. But it is certainly what I want for him. I would rather endure the sadness of missing him while knowing he is out there making his dreams come true! We have lots of festivities planned in the coming days. I am making his favorite meal tomorrow for supper, Taco Soup. He said he isn't eating all day so he will have a huge appetite since he knows it will be a long time until he gets it again. lol We also have a cookout/party planned for Saturday night, and will all be going out for breakfast Sunday before accompanying him to the bus station. But thats okay, I will continue to try to make good food choices and go from there. I love you Michael...and I am so very proud of you and the sacrifice you have chosen to make for our country!

Still trudging along....

Things are much the same from my last post, I feel better, though nothing has really changed...just my reaction to it I suppose. I know and understand that I simply have to take things one day at a time. My eating has continued to be very good this week in spite of "it", so that is huge positive. As I said before, as a previously very overweight woman, it is important to me to make sure I don't resort to food at times of stress. After the weekend Halloween party and subsequent pizza/chips/cookies/candy I helped myself to, I am now comfortably back into the lower half of my maintenance range. This is good...though I want to drop another couple of pounds before I weigh in at Curves so I won't show a gain for the first time ever. Just as I had hoped, knowledge of that monthly weigh-in is a HUGE motivating tool for me to behave and maintain my weight. I may go overboard sometimes during the month, but I make sure as that weigh-in draws near I am doing what I'm supposed to do. Definitely a lifestyle I can live with for the rest of my life, because for months now I see that I can splurge and get right back on the wagon and take those few pounds off. For me, the slight up and down on the scale is well worth it because this way, I am allowing myself to eat those foods that I had stopped eating for so long. Though at times I can honestly say there have been nights that I have wanted to eat nearly everything sweet in the house and did eat much of it. Why? No clue. Thankfully those days do not happen often and when they do, I just dust myself off and climb back on the wagon. I hope this day finds you all doing well and enjoying the gorgeous fall weather. I have the Walk for Diabetes event to attend on Saturday with the family and I am looking forward to it. Not a long walk, only 3 miles, but its great to be out there with family/friends/co-workers knowing that I have helped in the fight against a disease that effects so many Americans. It is something I encourage each of you to get involved with if you aren't already. I am not a diabetic, though both my parents are and my grandfather and his mother were both taking insulin until they passed away. I see firsthand the effects of diabetes, this is one of the many things that gave me a firm kick in the pants to lose weight. I was very fortunate to weigh nearly 280 pounds and NOT have any sort of health problems. Thank GOD I got smart and took the steps needed to lose the weight and hopefully prevent health issues in the future. I know that as a 129 pound woman I am WAY less likely than I was 150 pounds ago. Enjoy your weekend....get out...get moving...enjoy the weather and enjoy your life!!!

Life is going haywire....

There is an issue in my personal life that is upsetting me quite a bit today. Something I found out last night but don't want to do an in-depth discussion for all the world to see. Suffice it to say that I feel that the rug has been pulled out from under my feet, numb, lost. I am proud to say that thoughts of food did not even enter into my mind when everything occurred and I have continued to feel that way today. Have eaten nothing different than my usual meals and snacks with no thoughts of any sort of eating to forget or to numb the hurt, no mindless snacking just because it is something I can control in a situation where I feel so out of control. That's good. That's what I want to happen at times of stress, no tendency to turn to food for consolation. I never saw myself as one who did that and this has pretty much backed up that idea. On the flip side, I HAVE had thoughts of going in the total opposite direction and NOT eating as much as I should. Why I'm not sure. Again, maybe it is something about the control issue just working in reverse. Because I had those thoughts last night, I am making sure that I do eat as I should today, right on schedule. I can honestly say that the idea of sweets or snacking is just a huge turnoff to me right now, never thought I would say that! I love sweets! On a positive note, at least the leftoever Halloween candy holds no temptation at all for me so that'll help me get back into the lower half of my acceptable range as i prefer to be but haven't stayed at for a couple of weeks. lol Thats about the ONLY positive I can find right now, but its something to hold on to. I was supposed to weigh-in at Curves this week but with all thats going on, I simply don't feel like going to the gym. Can't go tomorrow, won't go Thursday. But I have made a personal promise that I'll get up on Friday and go for a 5 mile walk, its been way too long since I did that. It'll give me some time to be alone and clear my head which is what I really need right now. Have a great day, and if you have a moment, send a prayer my way.

Those good intentions crashed and burned....

Halloween started off well, did all the last minute party shopping and bought my sweet dumpling squash for supper. But we got way too busy doing all the decorating and I waited too late to start cooking the cake and cookie cake and had no time to bake my squash. Instead, I fell into the pizza trap, and chips, and cookie cake (though I didn't go NEAR the kitty litter cake...yuck) and chocolate candy. Ugh! Oh well, doesn't happen often and we had a blast. There were about 20 kids that came to the party and the girls had a blast. Mom and dad enjoyed ourselves too! The temps weren't too horribly cold until the last 30 minutes or so before the party ended which worked out well. I did get aggravated at the end when the party was to end at 10pm and the last kid didn't get picked up until after 11pm!! What the heck are these parents thinking???!! Saturday I was bad too....all the leftover pizza and cookie cake staring at me...hubby saw me eating a piece of the cake at one point and laughed and asked what I was doing. Told him I was eating an apple. That became our weekend joke, when he cut a piece, he said it was a banana. Boy it would be nice if it really worked that way. Thankfully now it is gone, as is the pizza. Back on track today. I was up a few pounds this morning, but thats okay. Still comfortably within my acceptable range. How did ya'll do on Halloween?