Anniversary Thoughts

Today is my 15th wedding anniversary! So much has happened in that time and its amazing how much I have changed over the years. When Gary and I married, I was 19 years old (almost 20) and immediately changed from the role of living at home with mom & dad and having no financial responsibilities at all, to the role of Navy wife with a husband who was stationed on a ship that spent more time at sea than at home. When we married, I weighed about 132 pounds if I recall correctly and was in wonderful shape. But I think I fell into a vicious cycle of being home alone so often and eating while watching tv, or going out to eat too often with friends. Then came baby #1 and the associated pregnancy weight gain. After we had Jessica, her brother Cody came along just 15 months later. No real time to lose all the baby weight before being pregnant again. After Cody was born, we also got out of the Navy and relocated to Florida which brought more life changes. But then perhaps the biggest life changing experience happened just 2 1/2 months after his birth, when we lost our precious son to SIDS. My entire world was shattered. Having Jessica helped us to get thru the days because we knew that we HAD to do it for her. I got pregnant with our daughter Kayla immediately (not planned but most definitely a blessing) and she was born 1 year and 4 days after her brother. Obviously having 3 children back to back was a recipe for disaster with my weight. I never had time to let my body bounce back from a pregnancy before another blessing was on the way. lol Then came falling into the habit of eating horribly and having those late night "second suppers" is what I have lovingly come to call them. Gary and I both kept gaining weight. While I wasn't happy with how I looked, I obviously didn't seem to mind it enough to do anything about it. In 2003 I did get motivated and started a diet and exercise routine. I lost down to 162 pounds and felt great. But then life fell apart again when our area took a horrible hit in Sept. 2004 from Hurricane Ivan. We lost our home and most everything in it, everything that was outside in sheds, yard, and also both vehicles. We moved in with my parents for nearly 2 years along with my grandfather who also lost all he had. There were 7 people and 9 dogs living in a 1500 SF home. Again healthy eating went out the window and we found ourselves turning to those comfort foods (making brownies or cookies or cinnamon rolls every night, high calorie meals). While I could eat healthy in my own home, I felt pushed into eating at their home. For instance, if they wanted a snack at night but I said I didn't, they would say they wouldn't eat one either. So I would relent and go eat something I never really wanted. Now I am strong enough to say oh well, that is your choice and let it go. Back then, I caved to the pressure. And that, ladies and gentlemen is what allowed my weight to go right back to 277 as it was when I had started. At least I didn't go higher but heck, 277 is plenty! Once were back in our own home, 4 months later I got back on track and decided enough was enough. I was thrilled that my husband and my parents all got on board with me for our own "Biggest Loser" competition. We all put $50 into a pot and set a 6 month challenge, whoever lost the biggest % of weight at the end, got the $200 to spend as they chose. I won the money but we all won because we all lost weight. I am at goal now, Gary has lost 70 pounds, mom has lost about 70 pounds, and Dad has lost about 12 pounds (he lost more but gained back). Dad has struggled because he loves to eat and doesn't have much will power. But on a positive note, his blood sugar is more under control than it used to be when it stayed at DANGEROUS levels. In looking back over the years, its amazing how life has changed and I have changed with it. I am proud to say that I am so much stronger now than I was before, both emotionally and physically. I weigh less now than when I got married! Love that idea! Do you see those changes in yourself since you began your weight loss journey? Can you look back at your life and see where you went wrong and your weight problems began? I think its important to recognize those things so we can ensure that they never happen again. And I think its important to have some sort of accountability too. Although I am at goal now, I will continue to go to Curves for the rest of my life (God willing I can do so). I say this because I KNOW every month I will be getting on a scale and getting measured by my trainer. I do NOT want to be in a position to have them look at me and ask WHAT HAPPENED this month?? That monthly weigh-in gives me extra encouragement to stay on track with my weight maintenance. When I gained the weight back before, I think it was easier because I no longer had a scale and could not physically SEE the numbers creeping back up. I don't believe I would have let it go so far if I had weighed and had to face those numbers...instead I had the mentality that it wasn't really happening because I didn't know how much I was gaining. Never mind the idea that I kept having to buy larger clothes again. Do you have some sort of accountability set up to help you? Is it a monthly gym weigh-in or WW weigh-ins or do you have a friend that helps you with your goals?