Monday, September 29, 2008
Life Can Be Hard
Yesterday was a difficult day for my family. It was the 12 year anniversary of the day our son died of SIDS. In many ways it seems like longer, in many ways it seems like it all happened yesterday. I can still so easily picture the events of that morning, the day that my entire world came crashing down around me and I joined the parents club that no one wants to be a part of, the day I became a mother who had to bury her child. Its always amazing to me, however, the way that God gives us exactly what we need when we need it. We went to church yesterday and in our Sunday school class, the lesson was about God and how although we don't often understand, He always does what is best for us and His outcome is the right one in a situation. The teacher stressed how that is difficult to understand sometimes when we lose a loved one to death or when other bad things happen, but he said that one day we will understand. When we stand before the Lord, we can ask him all of the "why's" that we have lived for years with. That is a comforting thought to me to think that one day, not only will I be able to hold my precious baby once more, but I will be able to look at my Heavenly Father and ask him to help me understand why Cody was taken from us. Except for the somberness of yesterday, we had a good weekend. We went to see "Fireproof" at movies on Friday night, and it is a movie that I highly recommend! It made me laugh alot but it also made me cry. If you, or anyone you know, is experiencing marital problems, go!!! My hubby and I aren't, but it was still a movie that you can't help but see and question how you can strive to be a better spouse. I have weigh-in at Curves on Thursday so this will be a week to make sure to stay on track and not splurge. My mom is trying some new recipes and has invited us to eat tonight so I'll have to watch my calories today in order to account for that. Also only plan to have small portions of the new dishes. So far, this weight maintenance is going quite well. I wish I could say that I stay the same weight every day, but that isn't the case. I tend to gain over the weekend, or when we go away for mini-trips, and then get back on track during the weekdays to get back to my base weight. BUT I stay within the weight range I set for myself (125-135). While I'm sure it would be better to be 127 all the time without fail...I figure if I slip up closer to 135 but then get back on track and back to the lower weight soon after, then I'm doing great. I just know that I will NEVER again be overweight!!! I will never again let myself go!! I love the way I feel, the way I look, the energy that I have, and while many people HATE their scales, I see mine as one of my best friends. It is a little box that will be honest with me and keep me on track with my maintenance...I can step on it and know if I can afford to splurge a little or if I need to stick tightly to my calorie allowance. The numbers don't lie. I got in trouble last time I'd lost weight because when life fell apart after the hurricane, and I no longer had the scale to be accountable to, I gained it all back. Now I make myself weigh every morning that I am home so I physically see those numbers and cannot be in denial. If I splurge over the weekend or on a trip, I know that the scale will not be so kind on Monday morning. But seeing those numbers gives me the incentive to get back on track and back to the lower part of my "range". Accountability...I htink its what we all need in our journey!
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3 comments:
I'm glad you have faith in God to help you bear the weight of having lost a child. I understand. I've buried 2 children, myself. We lost our first daughter in 1980 to SIDS....I think that is one of the most horrid ways to lose a child. Our third daughter was born with a congentital heart defect and after 2 major surgeries in 22 days, we lost her.
I also hear you on the scale being your best friend! I love my scale - even when it gives me "bad news". I take it with me when I go on a holiday, even. The first time I went away after I started on plan I did not take my scale and I came home 7 pounds up! I truly does keep us accountable.
I'm sure you've read about the Curves weight loss philosophy? If you haven't, I recommend it.
You are doing so good and are an inspiration to me, at least, that it can be done!
Thank you so much Karyn! I am so sorry to hear of your losses as well. I don't think there is any easy way to lose a child, but with SIDS, the idea of a healthy child just dying is so difficult to understand. The "how" and "why" is something that will always be with us! I have been going to Curves since I started my "journey" in Jan. 2007 but not sure about the philisophy you mentioned, am going to have to check it out.
How are you doing? Haven't heard from you for awhile......
The Curves philosophy is "Permanent Results without Permanent Dieting". This is based on the idea that once you reach your goal, you increase your calories a little at a time, weighing yourself every day. As soon as you gain 3 lbs, you go back on a restrictive diet for no more than 3 days (of course, they have their own plan they recommend) You should lose the 3 lbs before the 3 days are up. You then go back to increasing your calories. The theory is that it should take longer to gain the 3 pounds than it did last time. You keep repeating the cycle and eventually you shouldn not have to restrict yourself for more than 3 days every month. Who can't diet for 3 days? I have talked to at least one person who as actually done this and succeeded. If you read Gary Heavin's book, you will understand more - maybe his ideas will ring true with you.
Anyway, just wanted to drop a line and say I've been wondering how your maintainence is going.
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